I don't think I've been getting enough sleep the past few days. I'm so tired at work and after hours. I feel really bad when I go out with people after work because I can be such bad company. I'm usually so pooped I don't say much. Add that to the fact that I'm a horrible introvert, it's a bit of a let-down. Strange thing though - I was once (during last year's retreat) in a car with Jayne and Jon and we were talking about personalities. Both of them were in disbelief when I said I was an introvert. That sent off warning bells in my head. Does that mean I have a façade? From the bottom of my heart, I really am an introvert, no matter what I seem to be to you. It's just strange that people see me as this fast-talking, loud extrovert when, at my natural self, I'm really not. Eeep. Did I just say "my natural self"? I do have a façade!

So how did this alter-ego come about? I don't think it's a bad thing altogether. It's not that I'm trying to be someone else, it's just another part of me that shows through in certain situations. When I'm in a group, I can be funny and say stupid things and laugh hysterically. But I tend to be quieter and clam up when I'm alone with someone. Unless I'm TOTALLY comfortable with the person. Then I can make a complete fool of myself and I wouldn't care. I even noticed that when I'm with Jayne and Jon, I go crazy. But when I'm alone with either, I become this meek demure person. Which leads me to the revelation that I'm maybe not such a one-to-one person? Is that why I can't seem to stay in a relationship???

Oh well, that's another story for another day. I'll leave you with a picture of me with Jayne, Jon and Gene at the Media table during last year's camp. Jayne and Jon are the ones making peace signs. So cute :)