D-Day is slowly creeping up. Listening to Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach's "God Give Me Strength". It's a pretty depressing song and I don't recommend it if you're depressed. I'm not depressed so it's okay :) And in case you think it's a religious song, it's not.

It's interesting how I make decisions and then sway from one extreme to the other. Just a while ago, I thought I had made up my mind. After a while, I was more inclined to the other extreme. Now I think I'm going back to the original extreme. Which kinda lands me nowhere. I was frustrated for a while but now it's just amusing to me. I smile at how I can be so convinced about something that I would impusively take action. No action's been taken though.

So I'm facing the impending deadline. I know there are decisions to be made and it's high time some decisions were made. Am I nervous? Yes. Am I anxious? Yes. Am I playing it cool? Some people will tell you I am and some people will tell you I'm absolutely freaking out. Hahaha..

I remember the first time I seriously freaked out. That was when I was collecting my PSLE results. I literally froze. My fingers were completely immobile, stuck in a sort of stretched out position. I seriously thought I'd fail Maths. To the relief of my teacher and myself, I got a C!! Yes, I know a C at primary level sucks but that's how bad my Maths was/is. I was pretty impressed with the rest of my results though. I won't post them here but I just need to say that I got an A for Chinese. HA!

Another time I freaked out was when we had to take a blood test in primary school. I can handle injections and I can handle the ant-bite sensation but I can't handle blood being withdrawn from me. Even if it's a drop. So when the nurse did it, I semi-blacked out. And the last time I had a tube's worth of blood withdrawn from me (um.. 1998?), I felt so woozy I had to lie down in the clinic's waiting area before being well enough to walk out. I like my blood IN me, not OUT of me, thankyouverymuch.

So anyway, the most recent freak-out episode was when I went out with Terence. Frankly, I was quite glad it was Terence (ie. strong guy who can carry another human being) I was out with because seriously, I was quite ready to faint. Ask him and he'll tell you that I was really pale.. haha... ok, it's only funny on hindsight.

Not freaking out anymore. At least I hope not. I'm gonna keep smiling. HEE.. :) I once asked an old lady, in an Albany retirement home, how she stayed young both in appearance and at heart. And this is what she said:

Keep smiling, love.