More than one person has told me that I should try not to put up a front - don't pretend that everything's cool when it isn't or tell people you're ok when you're not or beam up a nice big sunshiney smile when it's really a thunderstorm inside. So alright. I've decided to take their advice and be upfront about my feelings.

Still, there's a big struggle inside of me. I don't know if I should be upfront. Because I'm not sure I'm ready to let the world know exactly how I feel.

The rain's stopped. The thing that falls from the sky, that is.

I don't want to leave the blog on a depressing note because, really, life is so much more. It holds so much more. I'm trying my darndest to be upbeat and positive. Sometimes it's difficult, you know?

You know how some people plan ahead for the next 5 years? Or maybe the next month. Or even the next week. And there are things in those plans - academic pursuit, career, marriage, family, children etc. Plans are a good indication of hope. You plan for the future because, apart from being a responsible adult, you know that there is hope. That things will happen for you. And if they don't, there's always a backup plan.

I don't have a plan. What do I want to do a year from now? I don't know. Do I have hope for the future? I try. Things aren't always as bad as they seem.

I just realised that this post is typical of me. Making everything sound ok when it really isn't. So much for being upfront huh :)

I'm gonna go away for a while. Not out of the country. Just from blogging. So no, things aren't ok. They will be eventually, although how long "eventually" is, I don't know. But I will be ok. I'll write again soon. Take care y'all.