"I am amazed and know not what to say" - A Midsummer Night's Dream

Our latest national faux pas is this - the SAR-vivor rap. I'm not kidding. There's a rap called the SAR-vivor rap. On TV. And world-famous celebrities are performing it. World-famous celebrities like PHUA CHU KANG and ANDREA DE CRUZ. Don't laugh. They ARE world-famous. Why? Because Phua got international recognition on The Amazing Race and de Cruz got hers on CNN and wherever else because of her romantic near-death-brave-girl-sacrificial-boyfriend-love-story. I am annoyed. For a few reasons.

Firstly, what were they thinking??? The SAR-vivor RAP??? I cannot believe that when the first nitwit suggested it, the entire boardroom would clap their hands in agreement and think, "My, my, how witty! What a great play on words! SAR-vivor as in SUR-vivor? How clever!! Yay!". And of all things, a rap. Look, you are not black. Neither are you Eminem. Leave the rapping to the pros.

Secondly, I fail to see how a cute little rap will take away all the pain and sorrow of those left emotionally scarred by the disease. I mean, c'mon. We're all trying to put the whole SARS thing behind us and you want to drum it into our brains with a pseudo-rap? Please. Spare a thought for those who'd rather not think about how their lives were destroyed by the disease.

Thirdly (and this must be the most puzzling question), what is Phua Chu Kang doing there??? You want Gurmit Singh to rap, fine. He's a household name, everyone lurves Gurmit, ok, we get the picture. But to use his screen persona - a construction worker - in such a situation is highly dubious. Ok, so I suppose it's more understandable that Andrea de Cruz is part of it. After all, ever since she nearly died, she's been some sort of spokesperson for all sorts of sickness. We should just make her National Health Ambassador.

Am I starting to sound bitchy? I really don't mean to. It's just that this whole thing just blows my mind. I just can't believe that anyone with an ounce of intelligence would let this by the censors. And yes, it should be censored! The whole thing should be censored! It's dangerous for little children, lest they think all adults are idiots and that they'll grow up to be idiots too.

But sigh, who am I kidding? This is not the first faux pas we've made. And it will not be the last. Mark my words. Oh, did you also know there's a "PLAY" campaign going on? All Singaporeans are encouraged to go out and play. My dad thinks it's ridiculous that we need a campaign to tell us to go play. I agree. Did you also know that we are the country with the most number of campaigns? In the world? I know this cos I did an essay on it once.

So yeah.. I'm not angry about the whole thing. I'm just really bewildered. And bordering on amused. Let's see what the campaign-makers will come up with next.

I'm crossing my fingers.