When God made me, I think He put in extra tear ducts and gave me an added pint of emotions.

I went to visit my colleague in hospital today. She's a new mother now! I got to see Baby Tesia and she is absolutely gorgeous. I love how newborns are so tiny and wrinkly and red and perfect. My colleague's mum was there as well and helping to care for Baby Tesia, who's her first grandchild. I looked at them and thought how fortunate they all were to have one another. Three generations of women in the room, all bursting with life. It's amazing.

Just now, as I was preparing to spend time with God, I thought about my mum. About how I only had her as a mum for a short time. And how we were never on great terms. And it hurt me so much. I've always felt guilty about going overseas to study. Those were the years her illness started to develop and I wasn't there. In fact, I wasn't even very nice to her when she called me. I was basically never really nice to her. Maybe if I had been in Singapore, things would have been different? Maybe if I had seen for myself the change that was taking place in her, I would have done something? You wouldn't believe all the what-ifs that are going through my mind now.

And in my outpouring of hurt and tears, God reminded me that He is sovereign. That everything works for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose. I asked Him to forgive me for my broken relationship with Mum and thanked Him for her. And then I asked that He would help me not to envy others but to treasure what I have. I still have Mum, she's still here. Physically anyway.

It's not the first time I've shared about Mum here. But I thought I would just share again because there are many who have never known their Mum, who have lost their Mum, who have broken relationships with their Mum. It's important to reconcile. Tell Mum you love her. You know, I've seen my colleague through her nine months of pregnancy and today saw her joy at her labour of love. It's amazing to be a Mum. And Mummys are amazing too. I don't know if God will choose to heal mine but I shouldn't treat her like less of a person because she's not. So here you go, Mummy.. here's a song I wrote for you:

For Mummy

You gave life to me

And hoped in your heart

I'd grow to be

Someone who'd make you proud

Who'd do all the things

That you never could

Who'd climb every mountain

Sail all the seas

Dance in the rain and

Swing on the trees

Who'd have a bright future

Better than yours

Who'd find only happiness

Knock on my door

So thank you for the dreams you dreamt for me

And all the whispered prayers you said for me

And even though you cannot hear me now

Please know that I am thankful for

The mother you have been to me.