So hello everybody. It's been a while.

I was just reading some other blogs and it reminded me lots of how I used to be when I was on my own in Perth. Back then, it was so much easier to be on fire for God and passionate about serving in church. Because back then, I didn't have to deal with office politics and family stuff, amongst other things. I was accountable to no one else and I could be myself. I could take lazy days, go to the beach, sip mochas on the capp strip, cook, bake, write, visit friends, hang out at Garden City, Freo, Perth City, drive down south, blah blah and all.

Here, we don't have any nice natural beaches, there's no time to cook/bake, we don't visit friends at home (cos that like, weird), town sucks because there's 3.3 million people in Singapore and 3.3 million of them are in town. Ok, so maybe 3.2 million. And the closest thing I have to the capp strip is the Holland Village strip.

And I could be me in Perth. I could really be me. I didn't have to be the person at work and the person at home (quintessentially different people) and I think that's what made me so open to God and so vulnerable.

Going through life back here (though it's been 4 years now) is a lot different. I can't believe I'm still talking about it 4 years later. I've hardened as a person. I've lost a lot of that childlike innocence I had. I've lost a great part of me. Because I have to live up to being the employee, the marketing professional, the daughter. My favourite of these is of course being the daughter because I do love my family. It's just that with us Asians, we tend to be a different person when we're with family.

So when I come before God, I'm not sure which mask I put on. And because I've been putting on and taking off masks, it feels hypocritical to come before the King of kings with no mask.

So I'm weary of life. I'm weary from life. But I know and I know and I know that this life came at a dear, dear price. And I can't give up like that.

And so I press on...