Sometimes I think I think too much. Everything would be a whole lot easier if I just stopped over-analysing and harping on things that don't need harping on. Like maybe if I just stopped going on about how horrible work is, I might actually just be able to get through the days better.

Hanging out with the younger ones in my cell group makes me feel old-er. I want to be young again. I want to not have cares and not worry about renovation costs and whether I want to stay in my job. So maybe I'll have to live vicariously through them.

Don't you just hate how some words are overused? Like "vicariously". And "rising", "costs", "ERP", "gantries", "bailout", "recession", "government", "has", "a", "plan" and so on.

Tired. I'm tired. Life is a game of charades, no? It's a guessing game. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it gets weary. Most times, the person involved just looks like an idiot.

Life.must.be.so.much.more.

Holiday.Coming.Need.A.Break.

I don't get it.

The Thais overthrew Thaksin in a military coup because they thought he was corrupt. Then after a brief rule by the military chief, they elected someone from the same party (ok, technically a different party but formed from the same roots) in a supposedly democratic election. Then they accuse him of being Thaksin's puppet (hello.. they're from the "same" party and you knew that when you voted...) and then they find any excuse to oust him (this excuse being he accepted money for doing a "Samak can cook, so can you" show) and now, they elect Thaksin's BROTHER-IN-LAW?!? Hello??? Anybody hoooome??? If they don't want their leader to have anything to do with Thaksin, then perhaps they should look OUTSIDE of his circle, do you not think so???

That said, the new guy does look pretty genial so I hope he will turn things around for Thailand. I do hope they stop the merry-go-round here though. I can only remember that many names. This could be a great pop quiz question in future.

Sigh. I so do not understand Thai politics.

Now everyone's been talking about the incredulous collapse of Lehman Brothers and the "heng ah"* escape-by-the-skin-of-your-teeth save of Merrill Lynch. And I'm sitting here thinking, okaaay, so what else is on tv? Don't get me wrong, it was a terrible, terrible thing to have happened but nothing seems to faze me anymore. Not the ripple effect this financial disaster will present, which in turn was caused by the sub-prime mortgage crisis in the States, not the earthquake in Sichuan, nor the tainted milk powder by Sanlu, not Hurricane Ike and definitely not Lance Armstrong returning to competitive cycling after overcoming testicular cancer.

Nothing. Fazes. Me. Anymore.

I wonder if we've somehow along the way been exposed to so much tragedy (ok, Lance Armstrong is not a tragedy) that what's bad now becomes the norm and what's good is either suspicious or unbelievable. If someone were to tell me that civil war broke out in Thailand or a crazy gun-toting psycho massacred everyone in a shopping mall, I'd have as much of a facial reaction as Paris Hilton with Botox.

I wish it wasn't this way. I wish good things would be the norm again. That you could walk the streets of JB without worrying about getting mugged (ok, sore spot for me), or take a plane and not have to throw away all liquids in your cabin luggage that are over 100ml and not packed in clear re-sealable plastic bags, or simply take the most convenient route in your vehicle without having to go through the ERP gantries.

Life, as I knew it, is gone. But ever the ACSian, I will say, The Best Is Yet To Be.

*heng ah - hokkien slang for lucky

The hub-to-be (henceforth 'h2b') and I have had yet another fight. I'm incredibly annoyed with him and wondering for the 1ooth time why I had to give up rolling pastures of green meadows for one COW.

Which brings me to the conclusion that men are like cows. They like to stand around and do nothing. Most of their time is spent eating and when they want attention, they ring their bells. When they feel like it, they can be productive and give some milk. But the whole process of squeezing the milk out is such an ordeal that it's hardly worth the effort. Might as well just kill the darn cow and make a good steak.

So yep, I'm not too pleased with the h2b at the moment. And I'm sure he's not delighted with me either. And round and round we go on the Singapore Flyer, not really seeing the point of it all.

We did our wedding shoot recently and it was a ball. But I had fun because I got to do fun stuff like jump around and pose and sprawl on the grass. Not because I got to get up close and personal with the h2b. In fact, those were my most uncomfortable moments. I hated the "romantic" poses. It felt too unnatural.

I used to think I was a romantic person. Not anymore. Not with the h2b anyway. For some reason, I can't bring myself to be romantic with him. It gives me goosebumps. Is that bad?

I will be terribly honest and tell you that since getting engaged, I've found many other guys to be so much more attractive in every sense of the word. That's definitely the devil having a go at me there but in all fairness, if I wasn't weak, he'd have no trump card to play either.

I tell myself that very few of us end up with the love of our lives at the end of the day. Most of us just make the best of what we have. If the h2b were to read this, I'm sure he'd feel sad. I feel sad just saying it. But maybe romantic love is really overrated. Who knows? I'll tell you when I feel that way again. Hopefully, it will happen.

Ok, that previous paragraph bordered on emo so I shall end on a more 'mel' note - I HATE the new Facebook. It's awful!

There, a nice mel ending :)

I've just come back from the One Fullerton party and my boss' farewell dinner at Forlino. I'm slightly inebriated so I hope that what I write makes sense (you wouldn't believe how many typos I corrected in that sentence alone). In any case, I've discovered what I suspected all along - I'm definitely more a red wine person than a white wine one and prosecco is fine by me but champagne turns my tummy upside down. I think the bubblier it is, the worse my stomach feels.

So anyway, I'm a firm believer of responsible reviewing. Which means to say that if I liked a restaurant, I'll say it but if I wasn't blown away (or, God forbid, I had a terrible experience), I would just not write about it. People's rice bowls (pun unintended) are on the line here and I think it would be irresponsible to ruin a restaurant's reputation just because you didn't enjoy your experience there. Like they always say in Singapore - nothing good to say don't say.

So I was at Forlino (and the very fact I'm writing about it means it passed). Let me just state from the start that Forlino is perfect for a romantic tete-a-tete in the evenings. Take your better half there for dinner. Even if the food doesn't do it for you, the view certainly will. You get a lovely view of the marina with sparkling lights, courtesy of the moon and the 5-star hotels fronting the bay. Very romantic.

Inside, the decor seems just a tad eclectic, with an blend of baroque and contemporary styles but I have to say it works. I took a hydraulic lift for the first time in my life and was so thrilled by it! But I digress.

Food. To start, I had the Culatello Ham with Peach and Spicy Fruit Preserve. The ham was very thinly shaved and went well with the fruit. Interestingly, Forlino has their own cure room where they cure meats and cheeses. You can even peek in through the glass window to check out the cheeses on the blocks.

For mains, I had Deep-fried Pork Leg with Stewed Ribs. Was not what I expected at all. There were 2 slices of deep-fried pig skin, 2 little ribs and a patty of sorts. Think I was expecting more of an Oktoberfest-type pork knuckle. I know, some of you are probably shaking your heads in disdain that a girl like me would dig meats so much. But I must say that I'm very much a carnivore. And a seafoodivore. And a durianivore. I'm an unhealthyfoodivore.

Dessert was half a baked peach with amaretti but I didn't enjoy it because I'm not an almond person. Chestnuts, yes. Hazelnuts, yes. Brazil nuts, yes. Almonds... not so much. However, they did give us a plate of sweets to end of, which consisted of 2 tiny dark chocolate ganaches, teeny meringues and shortbreads. Nice touch.

All in all, the food wasn't amazing-knock-my-socks-off fantastic but there is definitely potential there. Maybe they still need a little time to settle in but once that's done, I think they'll give the other restaurants a run for their money.

Ok, and you know it's time to sleep when you've spelt 'money', 'monet', more than once and when the alcohol's making you punctuate everywhere.

Nite, eoplep. I mean, people.

Much has changed since the last time I wrote. I was just going through my archives and marvelling at what I've gone through in the 5 years I've had this blog. It's interesting to see my thought processes and derive the stage of life I was at when those posts were written.

So here I am, on the threshold of adulthood. I know, that was supposed to have happened when I turned 21. Or maybe even when I left home to study overseas. Or when I came back and started work. But somehow, the little girl remains. All 28 years of her.

I think getting married is scary stuff. We all expect it to happen sooner or later but when it stares you in the face, it's seriously scary stuff. And then you realise, "hey, this is REALLY happening. My life will be different forever."

But then you look around at the people who've gone before you and they did okay. So I guess it IS going to be okay. Even for a worrywart like me. I worry about everything - a trait lovingly passed down by Mum. I worry that things will not go as planned, I worry that I'll marry the wrong guy, I worry that I'll develop Alzheimer's. Just like Mum.

So will I know if marry the wrong guy? Eventually I will :) But it's not about whether he's right or wrong is it? It's about constant effort every day and entrusting the relationship to God. What a difficult task at times for a control freak like me :)

Will I know if I'll have Alzheimer's later on in life? I don't know. If I do, I do. If I don't, I don't. I've read that children of patients with early onset Alzheimer's have a higher risk of developing the same illness. But I guess that's something I can't do anything about and it's pointless to keep thinking about it.

At the moment, it still looks like I have my whole life ahead of me. Now if only the government would stop increasing the GST, number of ERP gantries, surcharges etc. I promise to have more babies ok!!

So hello one and all! I'm back again from yet another hiatus. Some things still haven't changed.

1. I'm still in the same job.
2. I still dislike my job.
3. I still have the same boss.
4. I still dislike my boss.

So you see, it's heartwarming to know some things stay the same. But who said we had to like everything on our plate?

But you know, I now believe that I'm where I am for a reason. I'm there for a single person. She's become rather dear to me and I know now that I'm placed in a position to make a difference in her life through mine. I would love to leave for a more lucrative position in a bigger company but I've come to understand better that in the light of eternity, people are more important to God than my career.

I would love to move to the Shangri-Las and the Ritz-Carltons and the Marriotts but I can't even begin to do that not because I'm inadequate but because, at this moment, I can't do so without a guilty conscience, knowing that I'm not living out the plans God has for me. And you know what? It's strangely reassuring and comforting to finally understand why God has allowed me to experience everything I have in my career so far, so that it has led me to this exact point, to meet this particular person. Of course I look at my peers and how much they've achieved in their jobs and I feel like such a disappointment. But when I see the opportunity to impact someone else's life in a meaningful way, all the disappointments just melt into the night.

And that's really what we're all here for, isn't it? We're working where we are so that we'll be able to impact the lives of those who work with us. And that's how the world is changed; that's how the world is won. One person at a time.

So maybe she won't give her life to God through me. And that's not my job either. My job is to simply make a difference in the name of Love. Because that's what you do when you've been loved first.

I still dislike my job.
I still dislike my boss.

But there is a bigger plan that requires me to have a bigger heart.

I've been trying to keep healthy. To be more accurate, it's to get in shape for my wedding (which is more than a year away) and look good in the photos.. haha.. You can never start exercising too early right? Am hoping this will inculcate a good habit in me as well so that I'll make exercise a regular part of my life. And also so that I can eat whatever I like and not feel guilty about it! My new motto is - Your output must be greater than your input. And by this, I certainly don't mean doing a big poo poo in the little boys/girls room.

So I hate my job, what's new. It bores me. The people bore me. My boss annoys me. So no, nothing's really changed much there. I'm just looking forward to the day I leave. Which isn't a good thing, is it? Well, I won't lose hope that there's something better out there! There is more to life!

That's about all I have for now. Hello faithful readers!

So it's been that long huh. Couple of things have happened since my last post so I shall just do a quick recap. Well, the most significant thing would probably be that I got engaged. It feels strange saying that. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a teeny bit of me that perhaps would want to be single forever. But that's between you and me. Shh.

I was going through Friendster as I do sometimes, just to see how friends are getting on and I happened to go to my ex-cell member's profile. My heart was deeply saddened to see him brandishing a cigarette and obviously partying hard. And I started asking myself if I was a bad cell leader. Should I have tried harder? What could I have done back then when he was still attending church? Did I fail him? Did I fail God? I know that everyone is responsible for their own actions but I had the chance to make a difference in his life. And I didn't. And that hurt. It hurt not because I didn't succeed in floating a halo above his head. It hurt because I think he's hurting God badly.

I met him again recently and he sheepishly admitted he wasn't attending church anymore. I don't know if you, whoever is reading this, will ever understand the myriad of emotions that I'm feeling. The tears are welling up in my eyes but I can't seem to cry. If I'm feeling this way, I can't even begin to imagine what God is feeling. I don't dare try.

I've had my fair share of ups and downs and far be it from me to judge anyone for their behaviour. I just hope they'll meet God intimately again.

I have been so tired of late and so in need of some good ol' pampering that I decided to go for a massage. But as always, I call my regular spa too late (on the day itself) and they never have a slot for me. The number of times that the Strawberry Butter Meltdown has eluded me is unfathomable. So anyway, I decided to try my luck at a facial in their sister establishment - Mask at Wheelock Place.

With my body needing more soothing than my face, I opted for a Mask+Neck & Shoulder Massage for $58. But the therapist told me that for $60, I could get a Mask+Scalp+Face+Eye+Neck+Shoulder Massage, which was just great for me because I needed as many parts of my body massaged as possible.

So I plopped myself onto their "Zero Gravity Chair" which tilted me backwards into a 180degree position and there my pampering began. Don't expect a thorough cleansing because this is, after all, an express facial which is simply a cleanse/exfoliate/mask routine without all the painful extraction stuff. I would have loved to go for the full on-slough-off-all-my-dead-skin-cells facial but they didn't have the time for me. The 35 minutes of pampering went by just too fast. I loved the neck and shoulder massage with essential oils. When she placed a warm towel over my decolletage and shoulders, it was PURE HEAVEN. The facial was okay, nothing out-of-this-world but I guess it will have to do unti l I find the time to book myself for a more heavy duty one. But the massage... oh... loved the massage. I was even sad when it was over.

Would I go back? Probably. But a word of advice - they're pretty hard sell and will try to get you to buy a package but if you stand your ground (like I did), you'll get out pretty unscathed. Truth be told, I hate the hard sell tactics. It really spoils the whole spa experience. I'm there to relax and be taken care of, not stress over how to say no to an $800 package. Still, apart from that, I had a pretty nice time there.

So if you're in the area and want a fuss-free facial, go check it out. My overall experience - 6.5/10. Worth a shot.