Just read your blog. As I scrolled through your recent entries, I realised that you're really angry with him. And that's alright. Because it's perfectly normal. But don't be angry for long. For your own sake. Because it will kill you. It will kill off a part of you that was not meant to disappear. I know you've been hurt by different people and that the latest guy didn't seem to learn from his predecessors' mistakes. But realise that he didn't know them. And, much as it is difficult to believe, he didn't mean to hurt you. Only a really really mean (for want of a better word) person would intentionally hurt someone as much as he hurt you. And I believe he isn't that mean person. And I hope you believe that too. Because whatever happens in the end, you need to still love him as a person. And that can be a really hard thing to do.
Never stop believing in people. If any of us still has an ounce of childlike innocence in us, we should hang on to that for dear life. If we don't, we will let cynicism creep slowly into our lives and eventually poison our hearts and minds. And there are few things more tragic than that.
It takes a lot of determination, strength and courage to forgive. And you know, it takes humility too. Forgiveness is not an easy step. It takes time before you can come to that point and truly say that you forgive. And it's ok to take that time. Just don't take too long :)
My dear friend, I'm so sorry that you've been hurt. And I know that he's sorry too. And so is He. And I know that this is really really difficult right now, but please don't think of him as less of a person than he is. Because the same God that made him, made you. And you are a beautiful person. Realise that he is too. No matter how bad he hurt you. Please don't let anyone take that trusting heart from you. And even as I'm telling you this, I'm reminding myself. I know it's hard to trust someone again with your heart because it feels like they took it and stomped all over it without regard. But it's important to let go of that fear. Don't let it cripple you. Let this whole experience make you a better person, not a scarred one. And even if you do get scars along the way (which we all do), Jehovah Rapha is our healer. The King of kings is your physician, don't worry that you'll never heal :)
And you know what? I believe in you.
Saturday, March 08, 2003
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