When I got home tonight, I stepped out of the car and hobbled to the lift, hunched and in pain. It's times like these that tempt me to reconsider my vocation. As I'm typing this, there's a throbbing pain in my left heel and there's nothing I can do about it. If you didn't know me, you'd probabaly think I'm a 70 year-old lady writing about her typical day.

I'll write about my day anyway. I had a bad day at work. Made mistake after mistake after mistake. None of them life-threatening or job-threatening of course, but mistakes nevertheless. At the end of the day, sometimes I just sit on my bed and cry. So much has been going on in my life lately and I really need to get away from it all. I get into trouble at work because different people tell me different things and so when I do something I've been told to do, someone else scolds me for doing it that way. I mean, it's really not me doing anything wrong. It's really frustrating sometimes. Those of you who've been having coffee/tea/drinks with me, I've been asking you out so often because I just need a little sunshine to beam in through the gloomy clouds. Every time I have coffee with someone, it reminds me that I still have some semblance of a social life. You know, it's through these times that you learn to distinguish the acquaintances from the friends, the friends from the good friends, the good friends from the close inner circle. And you learn how very precious that close inner circle is in times of despair. Because it's this close inner circle that will grow with you, that will accept you, that will challenge you, that will genuinely love you, that will let you into their lives and share the journey with you. These are the givers. These are the ones who care deeply and are fiercely loyal to the friendship. These, my friends, are the gems that God gives to each life for mutual edification. I have many good friends, many, many of them. And I thank God for each one of them. But there aren't many in the close inner circle. In fact, there are hardly any. Which makes them all the more precious I think :)

Met up with pastor on Sunday. Had a chat about my transfer of membership. He says they take transfers very seriously (which is very good to know) and talked about my reasons for transfer, questions about the Anglican church (which I will find the answers to in confirmation class), similarities with the Methodist church etc. Now I have to go to my previous church and meet up with someone to get a form to fill up and all. It's making me really think about my transfer and why I'm doing it (which is what pastor said it was supposed to do). And I'm glad to say that I'm doing it because I really want to grow in Christian maturity. Growth is the key word here. Then again, I'm also aware that I cannot rely on the church to do my growing for me. It should only faciliate the growing, not do it. God needs to do that. And I need to be connected with Him.

How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with You. - Psalm 139:17, 18.