One Moment In Time

I feel like I've been sucked into a vortex of whirlwind activities these past 2 weeks. It's like, my life has been do, do, do, move, move, move, work, work, work, play, play, play. I've hardly had time to myself. So today, I took an entire day off and spent it resting in the best possible form - sleep. I was meant to clean out my room today and do laundry but I just didn't have the heart to :) Right... :)

For some reason, I've also been eating like a mad woman. I'm definitely gonna pile on the pounds. But it's alright, I need to put on weight anyway. I don't wanna be Ally Mcbeal. I think Liv Tyler's size is much sexier :) At least she looks healthy.

Gosh, I'm so nervous about starting work on Monday. I have zilch idea of what to expect. And I have a limited amount of money in my bank account to last me till I find my next paying job. Sigh, reality really hits you when you get out of school. Suddenly, you are accountable for your actions and decisions. Suddenly, you have to pay bills with YOUR own money. And you have to start saving so it will be less of a burden when you start a family. And you realise that you can't act like a teenager anymore because now, you have to bear the consequences.

Life is a paradox isn't it? Now that you're earning your own bucks, you can afford to travel and see the world and you should do it while you're young. But at the same time, there are all these responsibilities mounting and you shouldn't really spend so much because you should be saving for the future cos you can't depend on your parents or your spouse to support you forever. And I know you have to trust and depend on God but you should also be working at it right? Otherwise, it'll just be like asking God to give you straight As without you having to study. Doesn't work that way.

So I guess I'm discovering life. And I feel like I'm discovering it alone. I'm finding all the complexities and wonders of life and I turn around in enthusiasm to blurt it out. But there's no one there. It's like seeing an amazingly beautiful rainbow when you're alone in the middle of nowhere. And you wish you could share it with someone, some people, but you can't. And even if you had a camera with you, a picture will never be able to capture the essence of the moment. It will only be a second-hand experience.

And maybe some things in life do have to be experienced in solitude. But when it comes celebration time, I'll be bringing out the champagne flutes and popping the bubbly and I hope that when I turn around, I'll see familiar faces indulging in that moment with me.