Excuse me, are you an idiot?

You know how we have television screens at MRT stations? There was this morning when I was on my way to work and I saw local celeb, Nick Shen, advocating something on TV. Maybe it was the President's Charity or something. But anyway, he was promoting something. So I went to work, had a long day and met a friend for dinner after work. When I finally took the train home, I alighted at my station and saw Nick on TV again, still promoting the event. And I thought, "Gosh, isn't he tired? He's been talking the whole day, from morning to night!" And then it hit me. I was an idiot.

Isn't it crazy how the weekend just zooms past? Every Monday I look forward to Friday and when Friday comes, it ends all too soon. And Saturday and Sunday are just a blur. Time is passing week by week and I can feel it but it's not all that slow.

Stubbed my toe in the office today. It hurt like hell. For a while. I was walking across the office when my toe just hit the wooden panelling at the bottom of the wall (I'm sure there's a term for it. It's not "cornice" right? Those are on the ceiling no? It's not "border" either right? Oh well...). Anyway, I kinda went, "Arrrgh....shitshitshitshitshitshit....arrrrrrghhh....". Pardon the shits. It REALLY hurt.

Got a call at the office today. It's really strange when I get calls 'cos the receptionist will go, "Melissa Kong, line __" and it feels strange to hear my almost-full name called out like that. The last time someone said "Melissa Kong", I was in some sort of trouble. Anyway, they have to use my surname 'cos there's another Melissa and she's currently on maternity leave. And someone once told a caller looking for ME, that I was on maternity leave. So as you can see, it is ESSENTIAL that the "Kong" is included.

Sigh... the evenings are too short. They are way too short. You come back, have dinner, watch a bit of TV, take a shower, check mail and BAM! your evening's gone. Just like that. I lament the brevity of the nights.

The last time I saw such a storm, I was in Perth. I didn't know we had storms like this in Singapore. My entire bathroom is wet from ceiling to floor. And my bathroom window is closed, mind you. It's louvred (is that the right spelling?) windows so the rain somehow managed to get in. I looked outside and I actually saw gusts of rain. It's like typhoon season in HK man. Ok, I'm exaggerating. It's like a mild typhoon in HK. Yeah, that's what it is.

Anyway, I spent much of the day in bed. Was strumming my guitar and writing a song, then I got tired and decided to lie down for a nap. And then the storm lulled me to sleep even more. And then it woke me up. And then I find myself sitting here in front of Mr Packard Bell, a little dazed and not fully awake.

And I suspect I'm still not fully awake yet.

This is outrageous. Can you believe that on average, 6 women in France are killed by their husband/partner each month? It's absolutely disgusting. It's inexcusable, abhorent, beastly behaviour. I'm completely revolted. How dare they. How dare they betray the trust a woman places in them. How dare they make use of the natural physical weakness of a female. How dare they claim to be men. Or is it just me? Is this what men are really like? Underneath that steady exterior, there's a tyrannical monster? Have I been looking at men through rose-coloured glasses?

I hope not.

Read about my magazine here! Ok well it's not really my magazine. Read about the company I work for! Ok, um, I don't exactly work for them. I mean, you can't exactly work for them if you're not on their payroll right? Ok, so read about the company that publishes the second-highest-selling (there's a grammatical error there somewhere, I just know it...) women's magazine in Singapore! (The Singapore Women's Weekly of course. What, did you think it was Cleo???)

Read all about it!

TV Mobile rocks! (ok, that's quite a nerdy thing to say, I realise...)

I thank God for TV Mobile. I know, when it first came out, there were mixed reactions with some people hating it and some people loving it. And some people sitting on the fence. I was one of those sitting on the fence. You know, I rarely have an opinion on things but when I do, I make it a point to REALLY let it be known.

But anyway, I have been converted. TV Mobile is the only place I get my news updates from now. I don't have time to read the papers in the morning and by the time I get home, it's like the day is almost over so what's in the newspapers isn't news anymore. So on my way to work and back, I watch TV Mobile to get my news snippets. And today on my way back, I caught a bit of the National Day Rally.

Now, I'm not much of a patriotic citizen. In fact, more often than not, I have made fun of the government and disagreed with the way things are done. I have turned my nose up in disdain at fellow citizens and questioned policies implemented. BUT, today as I was watching the Prime Minister give his National Day speech, I was moved. I was sincerely moved. And I applaud the man. It's not easy to be a leader in these times. And much as I hate to admit it, he's seen us through. Our government has seen us through. And I must say, I'm grateful for our leaders. They've done a splendid job. I'm proud of the way we've come through our crises as a nation (I'm starting to sound like the guy who writes the PM's speech huh). And you know, when the PM was delivering his speech, I felt like he really understood what we're going through, young and old. He understood the plight of those who got retrenched and still had 8 mouths to feed and he understood the frustrations of the young ones who have yet to get a job. For once in my life, I felt like this was the guy I wanted to be my Prime Minister.

Ok, this whole post is totally uncharacteristic of me. I've not suddenly been brainwashed by the government, don't worry. I just have an opinion on this and remember, when I do have an opinion, I REALLY make it known. So here's to you, PM Goh, and the spiffy job you're doing. And here's to me getting a job soon... :)

The SDU Visit

I've finally lost it. Enough is enough. So today, I went down to the SDU. For the first time in my life. Those unfamiliar with our government institutions, the SDU is our local government-endorsed matchmaking agency (in its crudest form).

And if you believed what I said earlier, I'm sorely disappointed. You would NEVER, I repeat, NEVER find me in the SDU for any reason apart from business. So yes, I was at the SDU today to interview one of the advisors for a box story in our magazine. When I hopped into the cab, I was totally embarrassed to tell the taxi driver where I was going so I just gave him the address. And when we arrived, I went, "oh yah, it's here". I know I know, I'm such a snob :) And after the interview, I stood outside the gates, hoping that a taxi would come quick and not too many people would see me standing in such close proximity to the building (which happens to be a lovely restored colonial bungalow). I'm incorrigible!

Oh, Coffee Bean's got this new drink called White Chocolate Dream, which I have absolutely fallen in love with. It's deliciously yummy :) And it doesn't give me a stomachache!

I've had a lovely day. I hope you guys had one too :)

Early in the Morning

If you haven't noticed from my pictures (the few that I put up anyway), I have funny teeth. In a time where almost anyone who can afford to reconstruct their pearlies has done so, I have left mine untouched. Save for the brushing, that is. And I suppose that's always led me to believe that I don't have a nice smile. Today, however, my colleague was looking at me and all of a sudden, she said, "don't wear braces ok?". That really took me by surprise. All my life, it's been, "so when are you gonna get braces?" and suddenly, someone tells me not to do it. She went on to say that she liked the way my teeth looked, that they were cute and I shouldn't ruin them by getting them all straight. WELL. *GRIN*. Apparently, they are unique and have character :) Now why didn't someone tell me this years ago?? I could have cut back on all those times spent trying to manually push my teeth into position (without much success of course. If I could do it, either my teeth are VERY weak or my fingers are VERY strong).

So today, the office was a rather frenzied place. I stepped out of the elevator at nine in the morning, to see half the office standing/sitting outside the door, waiting for the gatekeeper to rescue them. Turned out the card access door wasn't working and the person with the key to the main door hadn't arrived. I felt really bad for those who came in at 7.30am to get work done. Including my E-I-C. But that wasn't nearly as bad as the power failure at the end of the day. At about 6pm, the air conditioning shut down and all the computers simultaneously went blank, to the gasps of designers and writers alike. All in unison too. Somewhere down the corridor, echoes of dismay were heard from Cleo and Harper's. I was rather amused. Well, there was nothing left to do but sit around the table and munch on tapioca chips. Half an hour later, with a semi-full tummy, I decided to make my exit and bade a fond farewell to my colleagues who would probably be staying late, no thanks to the computer strike.

On a more sober note, as I was lulling between dreamland and reality on the train to work, I heard some babbling. Then a loud "Ding Dong!". And again. And again. And then the hooting started. In sheer amazement, I left dreamworld and turned to see a teenager with his hand to his mouth, chiming out, "Ding Dong!". Then he started babbling. To anyone who would listen. After a while, he ran over to the door where I was and for a split second, I was worried that I might be in some sort of danger (I know, stupid thought.. but it was 8.30 in the morning...) but all he did was stand at the door, looking very eager to get out at his station. He continued ding-donging and proceeded to knock on the door of the train. When the doors finally opened at his destination, he jumped out like the eager child that he was and ran off to the escalators in such pure joy. His t-shirt read, "MINDS". For the non-Singaporeans, MINDS is a special school that caters to the mentally disabled. I saw a lady follow him. She was probably his mother or a relative. And what I saw next broke my heart. She took out a hanky and started wiping her eyes. She must have seen the queer looks that people on the train gave him. She must have seen the frowns on people's faces as he disturbed their morning peace. She must have seen the disapproving stares, the unkind looks, the hearts that were afraid of him. And she must have felt the excruciating pain of having to bear all this and balance it with the unconditional love for that young man. I was so ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I ever felt threatened by a boy who obviously meant no harm to anyone and was simply pouring out an exuberance in a way that so many of us have forgotten. I was ashamed of my selfishness. I only cared about myself. What a lesson that young man taught me. What a lesson in unconditional love and acceptance.

And it all happened on a train, early in the morning.

I want an orchid named after me too!!!

I've had a very interesting day. Nothing particularly special happened. I just had a nice day. Or maybe my hair was behaving itself.

I had spinach noodles today. For the very first time in my entire life. I thought I was pretty cool cos my noodles were green. Then I found out that it's pretty common. Dang. I'm not that cool after all. Anyway, I didn't like the way the noodles tasted. They were bitter and left a funny taste in your mouth. I shall stick to normal yellow noodles from now. No more funky colours.

I've got another wedding song to write. Another wedding coming up in about 3 months' time. It's been a year for weddings. I know of 5 couples who got married this year. 6, including the next one. Looking forward to writing this song. I'm afraid though, that by the time my close friends start getting married, I'll have run out of themes and tunes. But then love is more than that right? There'll always be something new to write about. And there'll always be a new song. Because that's just the way it is. Everyone's got their own love story and love song. Cool :)

I've been inspirationally dry lately. Call it writer's block if you will. It's starting to get too frequent for my liking. Does anyone know how to get rid of writer's block?

Dream A Little Dream

So I had this really strange dream last night. It was weeeird. I dreamt I was getting married but neither my parents nor my husband-to-be's parents knew about it because they were all overseas. We had all our friends together and I was in this wedding gown with the balloonish skirt (not liking it one bit) and for some reason, I had long wavy hair, with a lily tucked in at the side. Suddenly, I got cold feet and realised that this was the guy I would spend the rest of my life with. And I went, "uh-oh". I freaked out. So I took some time out and went for a walk. In my balloon wedding gown. I walked past my groom and he saw me but didn't seem to care one bit. Or maybe I was over-sensitive (gee, this is really starting to sound real). I didn't want to rush into a wedding, especially since our parents didn't know about it. But as I walked, and thought, and reflected, I realised that this was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And my heart was settled. And I smiled.

And then, as all good dreams go, I woke up.

I don't know what it means. I don't want to read into it too much. I'll just take it that my brain has been overactive. I've had a lot on my mind lately. I need a personal retreat of sorts. Have a splendid week, all.

Warning: Boring Content

Uh-oh. I've found something new to distract myself with. And it's bad. 'cos it's very distracting. And I'm very confused. Distraction and confusion usually come together and pertain to the same thing in my case. At this point, only Kel knows what I'm talking about. But I have to tell you, Mr Warmsocks a.k.a Pool Hustler, that things have developed and I am now privy to vital information that could change the whole course of things.

Argh. You know when your head tells you something and you know very well you should be listening, but you don't? Well my head is telling me not to be stupid but I'm not listening. Argh. I'm so confused. I'm sorry if none of this is making any sense to any of you. It's not meant to. Today's post is simply for me to talk out my thoughts and clear my head a little. And whinge too :)

Why do I always get myself into such situations? (Lil has heard that phrase waaaaay too often. I'm sure you know what this concerns by now...). No, this time, I have to be firm. And be in control. I'm not gonna get myself into trouble again. But I don't trust myself.

Argh. Whattodowhattodowhattodowhattodowhattodo.....

ANYWAY, the magazine is doing a road show tomorrow at Specialist's Centre. I'll be there to help out and see how they do these things. And yes, I will be appropriately dressed in a brignt Singapore Women's Weekly t-shirt. BIG (the smallest size is a huge medium) and Bright. Do drop by if you're in the area. I'll be there from about 2.30pm.

All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
All things wise and wonderful
The Lord God made them all.

I need to think.

Met up for lunch today with Victor. Some of you know him as Lao Beng, some of you remember his wontons at Stormon (!!), some of you know him as the guy who used to play the guitar in church. Well, it was really nice seeing him again. It's been ages since I last saw him. He's a site engineer now and his site is at Raffles Place, real close to me and that's how we decided to meet for lunch. I'm suddenly getting these pockets of Perth again. It's a nice feeling :)

Just came back from a movie with Paul. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. What do I have to say? Well, it's unlike any of the movies I've ever seen. I don't even know how to classify it. It's action + period drama + leeetle beet comedy. Eclectic mix yes. Was pretty tired though, after a day at work. Sorry if I wasn't the best company :)

So I had another good day. I think I'm on a roll :)

And I'm loving it :)

The Bizzare, The Exhilarating and The Painful

The Bizzare:
A while ago, I had this really really strange dream about someone I knew from Murdoch. It's kind of an embarrassing dream (nothing dodgy, don't worry) and he's not even like close to me or anything. Today, he calls me up out of the blue and asks me out for dinner. I can't even remember the last time I saw him. It was probably in Perth or something. But it was a nice surprise. It's nice to be remembered :)

The Exhilarating:
Today, I typed and handed out 3 invoices to the relevant editors for the writing I did. Which means........ $$$. Hehe... it feels good to hand out a letter to someone, asking them to give you money. Oh yeah ;) So, I guess I'm not really working for free entirely. I do get paid for the articles I write. First feature out in October! Gosh, I'm pretty excited hey :) Getting published has been a lifelong dream of mine. And even though it's just a tiny article in a magazine I don't even work full-time for, it's still a pretty big deal to me. You know, when I was young, I used to make my own magazines :) I'd take big pieces of paper, draw on them, write out a content page, write stories and even draw out a bar code on the back page :) I loved writing. I still do. And that's how this blog came about. And I love having people read the stuff I write. It connects me to them. I mean, look at all of you. How many of you got to know me through this blog? I wouldn't have had the amazing opportunity to meet (well, not literally) such wonderful people :) So yeah, i'm enjoying it :)

The Painful:
Got a paper cut. Through my cuticle. That's got to be the absolute WORST place to get a paper cut. Guys: your cuticle is that tiny piece of skin (membrane? I dunno what you call it) that joins your nail to your finger. One word - OUCH.

But I've had a good day. I hope you all did too :)

Cheerio!

Had a fun, albeit tiring, day. We went to this photographer's place to do a photo shoot. By the time my colleague and I got there (3 bags of props in each hand), the model and stylist were already preparing for the shoot. So when everyone was ready, we let the photographer work his magic. And work it he did. He got some pretty amazing shots. The model (who bore a striking resemblance to Fann Wong) was really professional and had her smile all prepared. I hated it when she stood next to me though. Or rather, when she towered over me. Gosh, how can someone be so tall and pretty and have straight teeth and perfect skin??? I don't get it. Anyway, here's the exciting cheap thrill part - they took a picture of my hands and the model's hands one on top of the other. It's for a friendship story the magazine's doing. So my hands (and a little bit of my body) are going to be in the magazine! Haha... I warned you.. cheap thrill *grin*

I also have a new boyfriend. I can't remember his name though. Well, it's not really that I can't remember it, I just didn't really catch it when his mother introduced him. Everyone at the shoot was teasing me about him 'cos he kept looking at me and smiling. And every time I smiled at him, he laughed. I'm serious. Every time. His grandma said he'd never been like this before and that he was totally taken with me. Oh, did I mention he's just got his first two teeth? He's adorable :) Yeah, I'm a baby magnet.. hehe... And the cutest thing was this - he actually leaned towards me from his mother's arms and stretched out his arms to me. And when I carried him, he leaned forward such that his forehead came to rest on mine. That drew "awww"s from around the room. And everyone started referring to me as his girlfriend :) Babies seem to like resting their foreheads on mine though. My nephew did the same thing when I carried him at Christmas last year. Or maybe it's just the male babies eh? ;)

I'll tell you though, organising and overseeing a photo shoot is TIRING. 4 hours of it leaves you ready to flop onto the nearest bed and go to sleep for the next century. It's extra tiring when you're trying to shoot babies 'cos you have to entertain them and try to make them laugh. You should have seen us all - 5 adults doing ridiculous things and talking babytalk just to make my model boyfriend smile for the camera :)

Can't complain. I had a good day (which actually started with me being 1 1/2 hours late for work because as I was nearing my office, I realised that I'd forgotten to bring some stuff for another photo shoot. Had to call my colleagues and then rush home again...)

But yeah, I had a good day :)

Been going through a bad patch lately and haven't had the inclination to blog. Today though, I saw 2 incidents which made me cringe and brought back memories. Early this morning, I was on the escalator going up to the train platform when I heard a "smack!". I looked up and saw a Malay lady scolding her daughter (I assume) and the girl had a hand to her face. The poor girl was about 15 years old or so. To be slapped in public by your mother is a terrible thing. Heck, to be slapped in public by anyone is a terrible thing. But I think it hurts so much more when it comes from your own mother. You can't imagine the feeling of shame, rejection and heartache the young girl must have been feeling. I know what it feels like, so I made a conscious effort not to join the rush hour crowd in staring at her.

At the end of the day, I was sent to Spotlight (in Tampines!!!) on an errand. While I was there, I saw this little girl run up to her mother with some cloth. Her mother (who was angry with the girl earlier for touching things she shouldn't) shouted at her and said, "You go away! Don't come near me, ever!!" and walked briskly away. The little girl hurried after her. And I winced. About 15 years ago, I was in almost the exact same situation. My mother was angry with me about something and we were in the carpark. She told my brother and my dad to walk away and leave me alone. With absolutely no sense of pride, I ran after them. But with every step I took in their direction, they would take one in another. It was almost like a futile chase. And second by second, I felt my self-worth and pride diminish. Maybe that's why now I never run after buses, even if they're just a few steps away :) The last time I put my pride aside and ran after something, I had to think very carefully about it. About whether it was worth going through all the emotions of rejection and diminished self-worth again. I decided that it was. So I ran. Or rather, I flew. Quite literally. At the end of the day, I had to deal with those same emotions again. But it was ok. It was a calculated risk. And I've realised that I'm a person who takes calculated risks. See, you can never be absolutely certain about something. Unless God speaks to you extremely clearly. And so, we've got to take those calculated risks. Not be silly and rash or impulsive. Simply taking a leap of faith, having weighed the pros and cons, being fully aware of what you're getting yourself into. And life is about that. It's about the calculated risks that we must take. And for those of us who believe that the Lord leads us, it's about listening, obeying and trusting.

For all mothers and mothers-to-be (all parents in fact): Please don't humiliate your children in public. I can't stress this enough. You don't know the extent of damage you could cause. Sure, the Lord heals. But wouldn't you rather not have those scars? Wouldn't you rather not subject your children to those terrible memories? Why look for the cure when you have the chance to avoid the mistake? I'm telling you now that it has a lifelong impact and emotional scars like these take a long time to heal.

I don't seem to have much to say about my life. It's rather dull at the moment. One thing though - you know the barriers that open and close when you tap your card at the MRT stations? One of them closed in on me the other day (one side of it). I still have a bruise on my thigh. I should complain. In fact, I probably could sue. But I can't be bothered.

Feeling pretty down.

I'm ANGRY

It's a sad day for humanity. So cliched, I know. But think about it. Isn't it a tragedy that the phrase, "it's a sad day for humanity" should be so commonplace that it becomes a cliche? That aside, it is a sad day for humanity because some mindless, stupid, pathetic beast decided to set off a car bomb in front of the Marriott Jakarta. I'm so bloody angry I'm on the verge of spewing an entire blogful of vulgarity. Then again, I don't know that many vulgarities so it would probably be very repetitive. But I'm SO ANGRY! CAN EVERYONE JUST STOP THE STUPID BOMBS?!?!?!?! Why are people trying to kill one another?!?!?!?! JUST STOP IT!!!!! Can't they see that they're being childish pricks?!?!?! Ok, really, pardon the language. I know this is nothing to some of you but coming from someone who doesn't swear a lot (in the past, anyway), I find myself offensive. And yes, if you suspected it, I'm much angrier because they bombed a hotel. My heart goes out to the Marriott group. You know, I think when you're in the hospitality industry, everyone else in the industry is like a brother to you, even if they're miles away (and even if they're your competitors). It's like, you look out for one another. I imagined the shock of hoteliers worldwide and I told Mandy, "Imagine coming to work the next day and realising that half your colleagues aren't going to be around anymore". On my way home on the train, I saw the roof of the Marriott Singapore sticking out from amongst the other buildings. I just felt so forlorn. So sad. I'm just really really angry with the stupid people who did this. For some reason, I can't think of a worse word than "stupid" so it'll just have to be that for now. Something's happened to my vocabulary.

You know what the incredibly difficult thing is? Loving the b******* who did this. I'll be the first to admit I can't do that. Not on my own anyway. It does make me wonder how Jesus could love me in spite of all that I am.

Sigh. Please. Just stop the bombings. Please. Killing people to prove a point is one of the most selfish things to do. Please. Don't set off anymore bombs.

Please.

SHOPPING!!!

I had an absolutely awesome day shopping with the girls. And the most fun thing was that everyone bought something. We met at 2pm and shopped till 10pm!!! Non-stop!!! Except for some fries at Macca's and then dinner later. In fact, it was already 8.30pm when we finally went for dinner. Quite a funny thing happened though. We were at this shoe shop and I was standing in front of my friend, giving her my opinion on her shoe, when this girl with boyfriend in tow, comes up to me and asks, "Excuse me, do you have this in another colour?". I turned, stared at her and smiled, "I don't work here (you obviously haven't opened your eyes missy... all the staff are in uniform and wear tags... grrrr....)" I was NOT amused. I know, I said it was a funny thing but in reality, I was NOT amused. Anyway, she was quite embarrassed and I was quite put off. But I kept my smile plastered on anyway. It's a habit I've acquired from being in the hospitality industry.

And at the end of the day, I went home with two bags but realised that one bag didn't quite look like mine. I opened it and confirmed my suspicions. Whipped out my handphone and dialled.

"Nic, I've got your dress."
"Oh no, really? I'm so sorry! You wanted to wear your dress tomorrow right? So how?"
"I'm on the bus already, it's alright." *SMILE*
"I'm sooo sorry!!!"
"It's ok."

So we're gonna bring the dresses tomorrow and exchange them. A quirky end to a really fantastic shopping day. I've NEVER in my life had such fun shopping. And we all agreed it would be so different shopping with guys. Even if they didn't mind, we'd feel bad making them follow us and wait for us while we tried stuff. It's really fun going out with girls :)

I'm hungry now... will go raid the kitchen...

Can you spell "c-o-n-s-t-i-p-a-t-i-o-n"?

I recalled a funny thing that happened to me when I was in primary school. The teacher was asking how many of us had ever had constipation. Since I used to zone off really easily in class, I only heard the big word "constipation". I had absolutely no idea what constipation was but being the show-off that I was, I put up my hand with much zeal. I thought I could show everyone that I knew a big word. The entire class erupted in guffaws and even the teacher was trying not to laugh when he asked, "Melissa, you have constipation?" I quickly turned to a neighbour and asked what "constipation" meant, and upon receiving the answer, turned a bright tomato red and hurriedly said "NO". Lesson learnt - don't be a smart aleck.

Today, as I was walking to the MRT station after work, I went past a sundry shop and saw packets of shower caps with the label "head fashion". So, that's what people are wearing nowadays is it? I feel so unfashionable. Monday, I shall go to that shop and buy me a shower cap so I can wear it down Orchard Rd. So that's why I'm not getting enough dates... I'm not wearing "head fashion". Now I know. I'm glad my eyes were opened. Note to self: Buy shower cap. The one with the pink flowers.

I'm zoning out again. If you ask me whether I have constipation now, I'll put up my hand. That's what happens when my brain goes into screen saver mode. System alert: Your brain will automatically disconnect in 5... 4... 3... 2...*click*