Just wanted to really thank Sarah and Esther for their wonderful gift. These dear sisters gave me a book on Alzheimer's and how to care for the patient and also draw strength from God. This could be what I've been needing for the longest time. Perhaps sanity is in sight? Thanks girls, you're the best :)

Today, I was at the Cafe in the hotel and, while using the phone, noticed that the cashier was crying. Turns out she's had a really rough week cos her dad was hospitalised and her mum just got into an accident. I felt really really bad for her. I mean, it's heartbreaking to see a grown woman cry. Especially when she's always been so jovial. My heart just went out to her. I got behind the counter and squatted next to her to give her a big hug and say whatever comforting words I could manage in Mandarin. I can't remember the last time I felt so bad for someone. I could literally feel my heart wrenching when she told her story through her sobs. By evening, she was back to her smiley self. I hope she feels better tomorrow.

Had dinner tonight with 2 couples from my cell group. We had a really good time. Ate in the Cafe then went over to the Billiard Room at Raffles Hotel but it was closed for a function, so we ended up at the Leonidas Cafe in Raffles City. I was trying to convince Pete and Nic to let me be their Mandarin emcee for their wedding but everyone was completely against the idea. We were laughing so much over my horrendous Mandarin that we ended up in stitches the whole evening. I really should practice more.

Alrighty, time for bed. Looong day tomorrow. Am not looking forward to it at all.

Haven't had the inclination lately to come online much. It's resulted in me going to bed earlier but falling asleep at the same time anyway because I toss and turn for at least one and a half hours.

Just came back from the dentist. Thankfully, there was no repairwork needed and all I got was a cleanup and polish, which suits me just fine. It's really nice to wake up on a Saturday morning and not have to go in to the office. My dentist is at Tanglin Shopping Centre, so after the visit, I took a short walk to Tanglin Mall and strolled through Tanglin Marketplace. I have a thing for walking through supermarkets. It's nice because it's always cool inside and I get nostalgic flashbacks of the times I'd be at Coles or Woolworth's, shopping for my weekly supply of groceries.

My stroll complete, I walked out of Tanglin Mall (not much going on anywhere cos it's only 10am and not many shops are open) and headed towards the US Embassy to take a bus back. I think the bus driver read my mind because he drove up the minute I reached the bus stop. So by the time I reached home, it was 10.30am. And my dentist appointment was at 9.30am. It's rather amazing how I managed to get my teeth checked, stroll to the Mall, walk through a supermarket, walk to the bus stop and get home under an hour. Singapore is tiny.

Now that you've had a minute-by-minute account of how I spent my morning, I think that should make up for that week that I've neglected to blog. Off to the piano now... the fingers need a bit of exercise.

Oh, as a little extra information, I met 2 secondary schoolmates at Pilates class on Thursday! Haven't seen them in years and all of a sudden, they pop up one after the other. Singapore is tiny.

Warning: The following post is not for the faint-hearted or people like me who are prone to fainting spells or those who do not believe in personal grooming.

So I managed to nick myself on the knee while shaving in the shower. And of course, as in all normal human bodies, blood came out. Ugh. Now, I love blood when it's inside of me. It helps my body function and, you know, basically keeps me alive. When it's outside of me though, it's a whole other story. I get queasy, my heart starts beating a million times per second and I break out in cold sweat. Of course the extent of the above depends on the quantity of blood shed.

Back to the knee. So I felt the mandatory sharp pain that accompanies all lacerations. And I thought, "oh shucks, nicked myself again" and left it at that. I got out of the shower, went back to my room and, while drying off, looked down and realised that the tiny cut had produced a little river of red, running down my leg. Battling a queasy discomfort, I swiped some cotton pads across and cleaned up. But it wouldn't stop. I must have used about 8 pieces of cotton pads before I decided it was pointless and went upstairs to get a plaster. Now my cut is plastered and I can see the blood seeping through the cotton pad in the plaster. I am not a happy girl.

Ok, so anyhow, the cut has been attended to and I didn't faint so that's good. Went for pilates today. I have definitely lost touch and am so out of shape. This calls for more exercise. I intend to be addicted to exercise. Sundays shall be jogging days. Without exception. Except when it rains. Then I'll go to the gym downstairs and have a go on the treadmill. Funny thing is, I don't actually have a problem with my weight or figure. Apart from a little tummy (which I'm told everyone has... except those girls who were pole dancing at that lingerie party at Zouk), I think I'm actually quite a healthy size so kudos to me! It's maintenance mode for me then. We can't take our bodies for granted. Especially since it's the temple of God. Must take good, good care of it :)

Alright, enough for today. Oh, one more thing - us Marcom girls went for the Cover Looks grand opening at Stamford House today and took a photo together. Here it is:



Clockwise from top: Cecilia our Brand Executive, my boss Christine, myself and our mum-to-be, Brand Manager Michelle. Expectant mothers always look so radiant :)

My colleague told me today I'm starting to look more grown up now. She said when she first came, I was like a little girl and now I'm all (in her words) "woman". Hahaha. I think it's the stress that's aged me. But we all have to get older don't we?

Anyway, when I heard reports on the radio about Typhoon Nabi, I nearly fell off the car seat. The newsreader went "Typhoon Nah-bay" and I just started laughing. I know, it's horrid to be laughing about such a tragedy but I couldn't help it. Gosh, the person who named the Typhoon must have been very angry. But seriously, I feel awful about all the storms happening around the world. Must keep in mind that God is in control still. I know many people have asked the age-old question - if God is a God of love then why are people dying all around the world in wars and natural disasters? Well, I'm no theologian but I do know that people die. ALL people die. Whether God is a loving God or not, we will all die eventually. That's something that all rational people - religious or not - will tell you. Unless they're from some cult that believes in immortality on earth.

So my point is, people will all die anyway. Why do we blame it on God? When I die, will it be because God doesn't love me? No, it will be because I have completed the work He set out for me to do here and am returning to be with Him in eternal bliss! So on the contrary, it's not because God doesn't love me but it's because He does! That's why He's calling me back to be with Him :) Do you realise that every day you live on earth is one day nearer to seeing God face to face again? It's not a morbid thought. It's actually a beautiful one.

I could go into greater details about natural calamities and war and death but I'll leave that for another time. It's not exactly great coffee conversation (not that I'm having coffee now). So anyway, here's today's list of 5 things to be thankful for:

1. The wonderful dinner Dad made - bangers and mash with mustard and sweet relish as well as smoked salmon from Canada. Yum :)
2. My iPod mini replacement (cos the previous one had LCD problems).
3. My little bolster for drying (or rather, absorbing) my tears last night.
4. Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino.
5. People who have seen me at my ugliest and silliest and still want to be around me :)

Konbanwa. On my way back home from Japanese class today, I tuned in to the radio and Class 95 was playing all these love songs. It felt nice :) Like warm and snuggly nice :) And I then remembered what it felt like to be in love. It was a nice feeling but I don't miss it much these days. I am discovering another love though - that of spending time with friends and family. As I always say, there's power in hindsight. All the time I was attached, I had been missing out on time with my family and close friends. I feel terrible about that. You can't buy back time. You can only spend whatever time you still have with those who really matter (I'm starting to sound like I have some sort of terminal illness).

Today, I received an invitation to a seafood dinner at Fisherman's Village in faraway Pasir Ris. The dinner's next Wednesday and it's a staff outing for anyone who wants to go. BUT, those who participated in the athletic meet get special invites and dine free! Wah... so generous hor? I was so pleasantly surprised at the formal invite. I mean, they already circulated an email memo but to actually hold in my hand a letter inviting me to dinner?? How sweet!! When was the last time you got invited to dinner via letter?? My ice cold heart totally melted. The smallest things make me happy. I'm such a sucker for cheap thrills. Haha.

Oh well, another day tomorrow. Looking forward to the weekend again. Heh.

I just sent in a job application. When I saw the opportunity, I thought yeah, what the heck. It's worth a shot. Doesn't matter if I don't get it, I still have my current job. But now that I've actually sent it in, I feel like I really DO want the job! It's a big company. It's huge in fact. And I could see myself working there.

You know, I've been really picky when it comes to the job search cos I get job updates and I scan through the list, looking at the company names before I even check out the positions. To me, the organisation itself is more important than the job description. Which is why I've made sure that every job and internship I ever had was with a brand that's well-known. Even if it was being a receptionist at the InterContinental. I think the brand lends some credibility to your package. Then again, that's just what I think. I know some people who still make fun of my receptionist stint to this very day.

I have to say that I don't have a single regret about working at the front desk. I learnt heaps, met and made friends with people from all over the world, experienced working the midnight shift, goofed around with my colleagues and never had to take work home after my shift ended. All this - stuff I never thought I'd ever do. I actually had fun then.

Anyway, I'm keeping my fingers crossed now. If they call, they'll call. If they don't, life goes on. As does the job search ;) And you know, in so many other areas of my life, I've relinquished that sense of control as well. It's the whole que sera sera thing. I'm done fretting about stuff. I want to fret less and give thanks more. So I'm reviving my "5 things to be thankful for" list. Here goes:

5 things I'm thankful for today:
1. My family
2. My so-far-so-good health
3. The awesome chocolate chip cookie I had this arvo
4. The fan in my room (since my air-conditioning decided on early retirement)
5. My sense of sight cos I saw the most beautiful babies today :)

Hey, whaddaya know, I feel so much happier already! You guys should try it. It's cathartic :)

Today I set foot in the opposition ward for the first time in my life. I have to say, it feels exceptionally different. Pete said the air there seemed fresher. I felt like we were transported to a quiet suburban haven. At the same time, I disagree with Pete because my sensory experience there was rather different. I smelt sewage the whole time, had sand in my eye and endured a minor heat rash. Potong Pasir is quaint. Very different from Clementi, East Coast, Queenstown or Ang Mo Kio. It's just... different. I can't think of another word for it.

So anyway, we were there for our annual LCP3 meeting (and only today did I find out that P3 stands for Prayer, Planning and Pastoral... something's wrong with the grammar right?) cos our church is moving this December to Saint Andrew's Village in Potong Pasir. It is very far away. So far that if I wake up a little late on Sundays, I might as well stay home (my ministry leader gave me a very disapproving look upon hearing my remark... hahaha...).

Well, there's not much that needs updating. Oh, except that Pastor has challenged my cell group to a game of frisbee tomorrow and apparently, the whole congregation knows about it and has been roped in to support his team!! AND, when my cell heard that Pastor's group was short of players, they volunteered to give me to them!! AND, Pastor declined!!! Hahahahaha... ok, there goes any hope for an MVP award then huh...

On a more serious note, I spent some time with God tonight and did a little reflecting. I'm not living my life to the fullest and I have so many issues to deal with. I'm trying really hard to get my life back in order. It's been stalled long enough. I need to engage the gear again so all systems can go. It's not enough to live on past achievements. They count for nothing. Even present achievements count for nothing. Delighting the heart of God needs to be a priority. I have to get rid of the "me" mentality. It's time to stop being selfish.

It's time to grow up.

So I had free tickets to Boxing Cabaret at Jubilee Hall this evening. Was looking forward to a good wind-down at the end of the hectic day and what better way than to go arty farty and watch a theatre performance right? Whipped out my handphone and starting calling people I thought might be interested to partake in this indulgence but unfortunately, found no one. And I've been dying to water that cultured side of me, y'know? Yes, there IS a cultured side. But apart from that, I really do love attending performances. Any kind. Going to the symphony, ballet, play, recital, musical... anything really. It's something I can't afford to do often (cos it's usually more expensive than going to the cinema) so when I get the chance, I jump at it. I think it's something my dad and brother passed on to me. We used to go watch the SSO during their Victoria Concert Hall days and my brother was always playing classical music on the stereo as well. I grew up thinking classical music was the only kind of music there ever was!

Then there's musicals. My family loves musicals. We went to almost every musical that came to Singapore and never fail to have a good time. There's something so agreeable about them. Anyone can enjoy musicals, unlike opera where you either have to know the story already or understand Italian enough to sit through the performance.

And of course I love plays. It's so different when you have live performers in front of you, giving their whole being into the performance. It's magical. And the wonderful thing is that no two performances are ever the same. Because it's a living, breathing performance each time. It's not like watching your favourite DVD over and over. Each performance is unique. Special. It brings with it the actors' heart, being, mind, body. And you get to take a part of that away with you each time. It's awesome. It really is.

Well, here's to more of the arts in Singapore. Good stuff.