Had a comic moment today. Was woken up by the sound of danger. Buzzzzzzing.... Now for those of you who don't yet know, I'm terrified of living, flying objects, whether or not they have the potential to harm me. If they are harmful, well then all the more my terror detector skyrockets. As such, this would mean that I'm scared of everything from butterflies and moths to hornets and wasps. And yes, magpies and crows as well.

So anyway, I open my swollen eyes (which is always very painful each morning) and see a bee hovering above my bed. I scream but there's no sound because I'm only screaming in my head. Now, another thing about me is that I love my sleep. If I was an animal, I'd hibernate all year long. So you can imagine I don't get up from bed easily or quickly. But well, shove a bee within a 2 metre radius and HEL- LO I'm up.

So I jump out of bed and run to the bathroom. Yet another thing about me - I have the crazy need to hug something when I sleep. So this particular morning, a very groggy and grumpy bolster was the victim of certain abuse. I ran to the bathroom with Childe still tucked under my arm. Of course, once out of my bedroom, I looked left and right to make sure nobody was watching, then proceeded to the bathroom. And in case you didn't know, I'm an actress at heart. Have been and always will be. So the actress (comedienne if you must) pretended nothing was amiss and calmly began the process of washing her face. With her bolster still tucked under her arm. She heard a cough, turned and saw her father standing in the hallway. Game over.

Anyway, I was too terrified to re-enter my room so I opened the door and flung Childe back onto the bed. And that is why I said she was the victim of certain abuse. Anyhow, who do I blame for the whole fiasco? My not-so-trusty AIR-CON. Yes, YOU. Somewhere in my sleep, the funny machine starts to cough and rattle. In my semi-conscious state, I'm thinking, "NOT good". So I do what any normal human being would do - turn the asthmatic machine off, open the window, go back to La-la-land. MISTAKE. I can just picture myself opening my arms, yodelling and calling out to the bees of the world to come drive me crazy. And I was having such a funky dream too... I was dreaming about driving my chronically ill car (otherwise known as Tau Huay) and somehow, Joy and Tanya (yes, the driving instructor) were in the picture. And the whole dream was sepia-toned. Quite cool huh. And we were watching a movie at Tanya's place. The movie was black and white while the dream was still sepia. And there was talk of playing pool. And Jasmine was in the dream as well. Bits and pieces everywhere.... can't remember...

So there you have it, that was how I began my day. Not with a cuppa and the morning news but with a mysterious stranger hovering over my bed. Heehee.. *giggle*

Ok, I guess I'm blogging again. Things happen when you start looking for a job.

I was at the MITA website (for the uninitiated, that's the Ministry for Information and the Arts) and there are lots of interesting job vacancies there for positions that I would be really interested in and would be really relevant to my degree as well. I can see how my experience at the Freo City Council would really help in some of these job scopes. I would apply in an instant.

BUT?

They only want Honours graduates. Honours or higher, they say. From a recognised university. *insert Batman cartoon sequence - POW!! BAM!!* Indeed, it was a big slap in the face. Ouch. For an instant, I felt embarrassed and humiliated (good thing it was only the computer screen I was facing). I will admit I was a bit stunned as well. So I stared blankly at the computer screen for a while and closed the window.

Am I upset? A leeeetle beeet :) But they have every right to decide who they want on their team and who's to blame them for wanting the best of the best? Sometimes, though, the best don't come with fancy degrees. And vice versa. No offense to my friends who are currently pursuing higher degrees. I admire you and respect you for what you're doing and encourage you to persevere.

Well, that's life I guess. A closed door here means an open one somewhere else. And I know God has the best plans for me, so there's no reason to gripe incessantly. I know I have people praying for me and I have the best Intercessor in the world. No worries :)

Except I gotta go take some photos and look good in them. Hahaha.. *deep breath* here goes....

I'd be an absolute ingrate if I didn't do this. So just for you, Cheryl, I'm posting a special entry - thank you for the welcome home gift :) The card was awesome. Fantastic words. The person who wrote it must really know what it's like to close a chapter of your life to begin another. In fact, I think I'll share it with all who care to read:

When It's Time for a New Beginning...

You need faith. That things will be better.
You need strength. And you'll find it within.
You need patience and persistence.
You need hope, and you need to keep it close
to the centre of everything that means the most to you.

You need to put things in perspective.
So much of your life lies ahead!
You need to know how good it can be.
You need to take the best of what you've
learned from the old, and bring it to the
beautiful days of a new journey.

Life's new beginnings happen for very special reasons.
When it's time to move on, remember that it really is okay.
Because when a new beginning unfolds in the story of your life,
you go such a long way toward making the dreams of your tomorrows
come true.
- Douglas Pagels

Thanks Cheryl, for reminding me that it's okay to move on and that this is a beautiful part of the journey too. In more ways than one, I'm moving on. Some will be there in the next stage of life, some won't. But that's okay. Because in God's scheme of things, an important concept is eternity. And we have eternity :) So go ahead, live life, make your mistakes and when you're done doing all that, pick yourself up, dust off the dirt and walk on. As Mr Burt Bacharach would say, "One drop of rain doesn't make the sun go away".

Catch y'all soon.

Don't think I want to post anything here for a while. Unless I have earth-shattering news. The way things are going, I probably won't have any for a while. So this is goodbye. For now. Take care, y'all.

I have a craving for Famous Amos cookies now.

I'm in an incredibly foul mood. Please, if you value my life and existence, please do not ask me whether I've found a job. I'm sick and tired of hearing that question and having to answer it.

I am in a ridiculously atrocious mood.

Don't come near.

Lilian, you have the weirdest experiences. Just where do you meet all these surreal characters?? I mean, Ah Boy?? Haha.. oh, and er, watery eyes and runny nose? Welcome to the club. More than glad to have you join in my perennial pain and suffering :)

So the weather yesterday wasn't half bad. Half good enough for me to take a swim downstairs. Now swimming has always been an activity with its perks and not-so perks. So yesterday I was at the pool, happily doing my laps when a group of pre-pubescent boys descended on the calm waters. Never mind, swim on. But ooohh no, they had to have a game of frisbee or whatever in the water. So yes, go ahead, form your big square, just don't get in my way. Olympic training going on, boys. DO NOT get in my way. And of course, as all pseudo-condo pools are, my pool isn't exactly olympic-sized. So what happens? They get in my way. Had to change my course just to avoid them. Soooo not happy about that. NOT HAPPY, boys.

On the other hand, swimming is a very enjoyable activity because you can so absolutely do it alone or with people. I don't mind either but since I don't really talk with my companions while swimming, it doesn't really matter whether I'm alone or not (notice I said "swimming" and not "frolicking" or "tanning". The latter 2 are totally different altogether and we will discuss them at another time). Also, swimming allows for pensive moments, forcing you to actually think about stuff. So yes, I had a good think about stuff yesterday. Mainly my spiritual life. Which will not be discussed here. For obvious reasons. It's personal. Yes. I think you got that.

Therefore, in addition to the many benefits of exercise, swimming allows for a variety of other activities, providing a platform for mental stimulation and allowing its participant to practise anger management. That, ladies and gentlemen, would have been typical of what this author would normally present as a sentence in any of her many university essays. And she would like to add that she has had to turn in many, many essays in the course of her 3 years at uni. Oh so many. Many. Many essays. Ugh.

Made my virgin visit to the Esplanade today. The fanciest thing I saw there was the array of international flags at the foyer... made of human hair.Wasn't too bad an experience but not something I can rave about so I won't talk much about it here. Go check it out for yourself or go here.

Will probably be going to see a doctor tomorrow for a worrying ache in my arm that's been there for three years. Well, on and off.

Guess what, I miss Burger King. I miss KFC. I miss fast food. I know, I know, I'm in Singapore, food paradise.. but honestly, I've never really fancied local fare. I did start liking it a bit but never got head-over-heels in love with it. I just want my fish 'n' chips.. : ( My last fish and chips meal in Perth was here and I'd only just discovered it not too long ago... what a pity. It was growing on me... and I miss Cicerello's too. I want me fish 'n' chips!!!

*pout*

It's strange how I keep reading the news online even though I now have access to physical copies of the local newspaper. It's so much easier - click here, click there.. I really hate the dirty black fingertips that come with reading the newspapers. Reading papers online is cleaner and so much more interactive. For some reason.

Anyway, I know the Bali blasts are on everyone's lips now but it's still really sickening. It's really hit home this time. I mean, to know about the hundreds of Australian lives affected, is just overwhelming. To hear about footy players killed and injured is devastating. It's so close... when they talk about AFL players, I actually know what they're talking about. When they reported on emotional scenes at the Perth and Sydney airports, I had mental pictures. Having been to both airports, I could see the scenes that took place. The Perth International Airport - so close to home. Been there gazillion times. It's just absolutely sickening. It sickens me that my mates have been attacked. I sure hope they never take away what makes Australia, Australia - mateship.

This makes me homesick. It's an alright review I suppose but hardly one that does justice to a place I called home for 3 1/2 years. Someday I will be back. Someday.

Some guy called me this morning at 8.33am. Well, he didn't exactly call for me - it was a wrong number. But in my semi-conscious state, as I walked back to the bed, I looked out the window and saw the moon. It was red. The skies were completely grey. Grey as grey could be. But the moon... the moon was frighteningly, eerily red. At 8.33am in the morning.

I knew then the haze was bad.

Almost 5 hours later, the skies are still as grey. The moon has disappeared. But the sky is a war-time army blanket of gloom. I would say more but that would make me terribly late for my appointment with Lilian. So Lil, just for you, I will end this post now.

I'm watching the Opening Festival on TV now. For the uninitiated, it's the official opening of the EsplaNAID (although I much prefer EsplaNAHD). I had a really interesting view of it - it was neither completely a top-view nor a side view but from the camera angle, the Esplanade looks like a giant bra. With cleavage. Fantastic.

So the opening fest's got floats, fireworks, performances... basically another NDP show. Except funkier. Not bad lah, I'm quite impressed by the fireworks emerging from the water. Okay, they keep using the same angle and all that's going through my mind is, "Bra, bra, bra". And okay, the fireworks have gone on long enough already... thank you, yes, we get the point... aw c'mon... how many times are you gonna do this?? 10 minutes ago they had fireworks.. now they're fireworking again!! Ugh..

Oh, I caught a little bit of "Oh Carol" on TVMobile. Erm... trying hard to think of something nice to say. Someone once said, "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything". Ok, I won't.

Had a relatively pleasant day with Terence, shopping for perfumes. Seriously, they all start to smell the same after a while. Everything's just one big bouquet of flowers. Or an overwhelming basket of fruits. Had a nice dinner with Mark as well. Good catching up with you, chum :) Hope you're enjoying yourself at Zouk. Keep the pool date in mind.

Should go to bed soon.

Had a lovely evening catching up on the latest goss with Cheryl. We had pasta and frozen margaritas (you can never stop at one glass!) at Tango's. It's nice to be able to be a complete idiot with a friend (I will not elaborate. I promised not to :))

So anyhows, meeting up with people has made it that bit easier for me in terms of adjusting back to life in the hazy sticky urban landscape that is Singapore. I'm pushing away thoughts of Perth now as I type this. It's an active thing. You can't just sit there and expect to assimilate back into the culture and scenery just like that. It takes work. It's a matter of actively telling myself, "Look, I'm back now, I can't do anything to change that. Let's just get with the program. Rock and roll, chick". Well maybe not exactly that way but you know what I mean. It's not easy and I'll be the first to admit that. Maybe it's easier for some, harder for others and perhaps some are ambivalent. I just find it hard to believe that anyone who's been away for 3 years or more, can come back and adjust back to life like they never left. When you go overseas for a number of years, you cannot expect to come back the same person. I'm not the same Mel I was when I left 3 1/2 years ago. Thank God I'm not. But while you come back changed in some ways, you cannot expect that people here will remain unchanged. Time and experiences shape and mould. It's difficult to go through life without changing unless you're cold, hard and resistant.

At the moment, I'm rather directionless. I know what I must do but I'm not doing it. I believe the apostle Paul went through the same thing. Sigh... I should get my act together.

Q: Why is it sooooooo hot here??

I was on the bus today when it started filling up. I don't know about you but when the seats start to fill up and more people come on board, I mentally go, "not here, not here" as they walk past me. I start looking a little colder, a tad less friendly and maybe even scowl a little so they won't sit next to me. Haha.. I'm such an idiot... call it being possessive of my personal space but for some reason, I'm just not perfectly comfortable with a stranger coming too close.

So anyway, here I am, going "not here, not here" and looking at the faces of the passengers walking by (you know you're in trouble when they look at you and then at the empty space next to you), when this lady sits plops herself down next to me. Okay, I've conceded defeat. That's not it. She sits close enough so that her entire arm is pressed against mine. Well, not forcefully pressed but more than a brush. And she didn't make any effort to move. So there I am, more than just a little uncomfortable that this stranger has her arm making full contact with mine. BUT, the fact that she didn't move told me she was comfortable with where her arm was and that implied that she was comfortable with me and that, in turn, made me feel kinda flattered :)

So there you have it - what started out as a mildly awkward, uncomfortable situation for me ended up boosting my morale. Yay.

Listening to Burt Bacharach. I do think he's a fantastic songwriter. Amazing. I love "Magic Moments". For a long time, I only knew it as the Christmas jingle Metro used. Or was it Centrepoint? Aaanywaaay, I think it's a great song :)

Thus endeth the day's ramblings.

My new man of the moment is.... *drum roll*.... MR JAMIE OLIVER!!!!!!!!!!! Now how about that, ladies? Gorgeous English bloke who cooks fantastic :) *drool* I think I'm going to be waking up earlier to catch the naked chef in action :)

Today's another hazy day. So much for swimming plans. Haven't really accomplished much since I got back but I think it's slowly getting better. It helps to meet up with friends and not actively think about Perth too much. I hope it gets much better soon. At least now I don't think I'm going mad that fast anymore.

I don't believe it. My second day in Singapore and I get a parking fine. Not happy.

On the whole, had a relatively ok day. It was nice meeting up with Mandy and Lilian. Good to know that some friends are still around :)

Argh. I still can't believe it... I saw the parking attendants when I was walking to the car... feeling of impending doom... argh..

Ok, need to start talking to people now... update more tomorrow.

"There was a time when people said that Singapore won't make it, but we did...."

In case you're wondering, I'm singing patriotic national day songs in my head. My nose is clogged and my eyes are semi-swollen. Ah yes, the joys of returning to one's homeland. I'm a quitter who has returned. My brother says I'm a returner.

Day 2 in Merlionland. I have to say Singapore looks a whole lot better at night than it does in the day. Maybe it's because you can't see much at night. Okay Mel, stop. I'm so terribly catty. I disgust myself. Not really.

Meeting Mandy and Lilian today. That means I'll be setting foot in public transport! First time in a long while! Easi-link/EZ-link/Easy-link cards!!

Ugh. I do disgust myself.

It won't be so bad. It'll be fine. I'll be fine. I've just asked Dad to get ice kacang on his way back from lunch. I had chai tao kueh (how in the world do you spell it???) for brekkie. Food should heal everything right?

No.

Maybe I'll indulge in retail therapy. That ought to make me happy for a few hours. Then I'll come back and open up my packages, smile and put them aside, pick up photo albums, letters, cards... and cry.

I'm torn between cutting myself off from people, things and thoughts of Perth; and dwelling on them. Should I move on? Leave those relationships behind? Or should I hold on? Fight for them with everything I've got? Is there an in-between? What's that and how do you achieve it?

Nicole, I hope you're enjoying the car.

I haven't unpacked. I look at my luggage and it makes me want to faint. 6 pieces of luggage. I'm intensely jealous of all those people who have connections in the airline industry and don't have to pay for excess baggage and get bumped up to business class all the time.

Mole-y, mole-y, mole-y, mole

Hi Ash, how're you doing?

I think I'll go look at the cookbook I got from Randy and Auntie. That ought to make me feel better. Food always does right? waitaminute, we've been through this already...

Hello furry pasta...

Hello Bobbie, how're you doing?

Hellooo...

I think I'm going mad... and I'm not joking.

help.

I AM BACK.

Back in the sunny island set in the sea, where pretty flowers bloom for you and me.

Sigh.

Not as many tears as I expected but I'm sure they'll come in time.

Sneezing.

I really want to go for a swim but the hazy weather's not exactly ideal for that.

So lethargic.

Have to go back to the airport later to collect a bag I left there. Good that I'm laughing about it though. Not much else to laugh about.

Enough.

Hang in there Mel.

So I'm back from Albany. The accommodation was far from perfect (7 girls in a tiny caravan - yes, 3 of them were little girls but ooooh, the terrors!), the food was more than I could ask for (chicken rice, fish and chicken porridge, bacon and eggs, frozen DURIAN - all courtesy of uncle Kum Yoke) and the company was, well, uh... interesting.

But it was extremely successful in that I've come to see a different side to the uncles and aunties in church and they're really very funny people (albeit strange at times...). FCC is certainly not there yet but there is so much potential. Potential for good.

THe best thing that came out of the whole trip was being able to bless the old folks and get a chance to talk to some of them. It's amazing how old they are. Playing a song for them was addictive because you just want to do it over and over again to more people, reminding them that they are special in God's eyes. I know I wasn't singing very loud or speaking very loud and I know that most of them probably couldn't hear me well but I also know that the Holy Spirit touched some lives those 3 days. And it was nothing to do with me. Simply awesome. That He would use a dirty, unworthy girl who breaks His heart all the time... it's beyond me.

4 days to departure. Fear and trepidation. Cliches running through my head. I feel my heart pounding in my ears. Will begin a countdown soon. Argh. Help. I don't want to go back. I really don't. But at the same time, I'm weary of Perth. Sometimes, you know when it's time to go. It's time.

So many things left unsettled though. So many relationships that I've just formed in the last few days will have to be cut short/put on hold. I need to sell my car. Anyone interested? MIght as well advertise here huh:

-1985 Honda Civic
- 5-door hatchback
- 5-speed manual
- 1.6L
- extremely fuel efficient
- recently serviced
- Sony CD player
- Kenwood speakers
- $1,500 o.n.o

There you go. I need to sell it in the next few days. Give me a buzz if you're interested. Not putting up my number cos if you're reading this, you probably have it and if you don't, you'll know how to get it.

Going to the Perth Royal Show later. EXCITED!!!! But I have to wait for someone to get OUT OF THE SHOWER.... dumdeedumdeedum.... oh, there's a really adorable dog at my place now. His name's Ash but he's white as snow. I don'[t understand. Must be some really profound meaning behind it.

Later.