All About Asses

I'm sitting here at the computer, looking up at the bookshelf, when my eye falls on a book. It's called, "The Golden Ass". Umm, *snigger snigger*, this is how the thought process went:

1. Eye catches book.
2. Mind freezes for a split second. Or more. As is prone to happen.
3. Brain sends message.
4. Message is decoded.
5. Message reads: "What the...???"
6. 2nd message sent.
7. Message is decoded.
8. Message reads: "*snigger snigger*"

Eh, donch laff ok. Eeees a klah-seec reeetun by Mr Lucius Apuleius, who died a loooooooong time ago. Which is what makes something a classic, if you ask me. So why is Homer's Odyssey an epic? Because he probably died an even longer time ago. Of course, I could be wrong about that. Which would mean I would have committed a FOX PASS, wouldn't I? Hahaha... I'm sorry, Kel. Couldn't resist :)

It is now 11 in the morning. The thought that I will only be home again 12 hours later is depressing. Especially when, somewhere in those 12 hours, you have to fit in something people like to term "work". Or "labour". Or "toil". Or "hardship". Or "suffering". Depending on how jaded you are. I, my friends, have no right to be jaded. Yet. Give me a bit more time. I promise I'll try.

I don't know if I ever told any of you this - in J1, my class had a theme song: "You're The Inspiration" by Chicago. By the time we reached J2, our theme song had changed to, "The End of the World". I mean, we were literally singing it everyday.

Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore? etc.

I thought it was funny.

Heh.

: (

I had a horrible dream this evening. I woke up feeling tremendously sad, with a sick feeling in my stomach. 5 hours later, I'm not feeling very much better. In fact, it's actually got worse. I'm left feeling utterly helpless and despondent. I don't think talking to anyone would help anyway. Why did I have to dream that?

Where's everyone?

: (

Doctor Mel, I presume?

Started my work day at the staff entrance, taking the temperatures of every single living, breathing person that came through. Hmm, so I read that in NUS, the people who take your temperatures have masks on. I didn't. No big deal. It was quite fun actually since I got to sit down and rest while the people filed in to take their temps. At times, it was awkward 'cos there was only one person and since we're using the thermometers that go into your mouth, we had to wait a while before the thing beeped. So for that whole time, you look at him, he looks at you, you look somewhere else, pretend to write something and impatiently wait for the beeps. One auntie, however, got me rather frustrated.

Auntie: How you use this ah?
Me: You stick it under your tongue.
Auntie: Hah? How ah? How to use this ah?
Me: You put it in your mouth (open my mouth) and stick it under your tongue (point my finger in my mouth).
Auntie: Is it? Hah? Why ah? How to use ah? Why got this plastic thing ah? (tries to remove the plastic probe cover)
Me: No no, auntie. That cover is to protect you. Every one uses the same thermometer. We change the covers (auntie fiddles around, pressing the button on the thermometer).

~Uncle from Engineering dept walks in~

Me: Ok, you just follow what he does lah.

~A long time passes. Uncle's thermometer has beeped and he's probably already having his kopi in the canteen. Auntie's thermometer hasn't~

Auntie: Why so long ah? (Auntie!! Don't talk with the thermometer in your mouth!!!)
Me: Let's have a look.

~Takes thermometer from Auntie. It's not switched on. Auntie must have switched it off while fiddling with the button~

Me: It's not on (SIGH). Never mind, we try again.

~Centuries pass and Auntie's thermometer still hasn't beeped~

Auntie: Cannot lah, never mind (takes thermometer out of mouth, complete with saliva bubbles at the end, and shoves it at me).
Me: Uh, can you please remove the cover and throw it for me please?
Auntie: Ok. 37.1 degrees.
Me: Thank you (argh!!!).

And there was this other lady who kept talking to me and taking her thermometer out of her mouth while she talked. Sigh. I knew we were going to be there forever. Btw, a friend told me that this company she knows, takes the temperatures of their staff as well but they don't change the probe covers until someone registers a temperature of 38 degrees! I don't know how true this is but it sure is gross!!!

On another note, Cheryl, you remember Jeff? Patrick's housemate from Murdoch? He came by the hotel today with his friend. As I was walking past the lift, he called out to me and asked about the restaurant. Then he went, "Don't I know you?". I'm thinking, hey, it's an overused pickup line but it's not bad :) So I go, "uh, no I don't think so". He's like, " you're from Murdoch right?" Then I remembered him. I wanted to die. Here he was, with his friend, both working in an ad agency (and he mentioned he did his masters), and here I am, in my Allan Chai uniform, working at the front desk. After explaining what I did, his friend said, "REALLY? Wow, you're really starting from the rock bottom huh?". I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

I guess the bottom line is that I have a bruised ego. And who said girls weren't egotistical?

Round and Round the Merry-Go-Round

I was so bored today, and so desperately sleep-deprived, that I sat on a swivel chair and started spinning myself round and round. And round and round. I was hoping the nice twirly action would ease me into slumber. Unfortunately, all that the nice twirly action did was to ease me into nausea. When I came downstairs, I was ready to throw up. Oh, this was at work by the way. Come to think of it, I think it was the sleep deprivation that caused me to close a drawer with the tip of my finger still inside. That definitely woke me up. So did the ice-cold water that I was soaking my finger in.

I've been having steak cravings. BEEF steak. Nice, big, juicy beef slabs in a pool of mushroom sauce with a side of mashed potatoes, drizzled with herb and garlic butter. None of that fat-free stuff for me please. Load up on the butter, dudes!!! Sigh. I'm sooo hungry. You know where's really good for food? Southbank in Melbourne. It's a little pricey, though not over-the-top. And the whole area is soooo romantic! Dim streetlamps lining the restaurants and cafes lining the river. So nice :) And the food is fabulous. None of the places I went to in Southbank failed my tastebuds. Absolutely DIVINE.

Ok, the phone just rang and this guy said, "uh, I just want to know, did anyone call me just now ah?". DUDE, give me a name!. Sheesh. I can't believe a total stranger would expect me to know who he is. Ok, but what actually irritated me was the "I-am-such-an-ah-beng" tone of the caller. Ok ok, I'm sorry, I'm a total bigot. I'm so prejudiced (haven't used that word in a while). But eeeee, he really made my hair stand! Ok ok, I'm sorry.

I'm gonna watch some tv now.

"Houston, we've made contact"

I have a problem with physical contact. No, not just close contact. Even an accidental-brush-type contact makes me uncomfortable. See, I was on the bus today when this older-than-middle-aged lady sat down next to me. She kept turning this way and that and brushing against me in the process. I was not a happy chappy.

But I've not always been this way. I remember holding the hands of my family members when I was little. I remember Mom giving me kisses and me giving Mom kisses. Along the way though, the discipline that I was subjected to in my formative years led me to develop an almost severe dislike for my family members. Frequent public humiliation (not just in front of the extended family. We're talking shopping centres here..) made me very insecure and my self-confidence never developed. As a result, I built a wall of pride to protect myself. I had to show them that they couldn't hurt me, that I was unfazed. The result of this developed pride was the dislike for any form of physical contact. If any of them even so much as touched my hand, I'd grudgingly rub that hand against my shirt in front of them. To show them that I had to clean my hand and didn't like them touching me. I didn't like any form of contact, accidental or not, that could be construed as affection.

The stings are still there, albeit not as painful. I realise this is a form of bondage that I need to break free of. I know I can't keep blaming everything on my past, on the way I was brought up. And I guess I don't anymore. I'm not angry anymore. I just see it in a very matter-of-fact light - "this happened to me when I was young, now it's affected the person I've become. Action=Consequence." But that's it. I'm not heaping blame on anyone. It's over. I sometimes still find myself lightly brushing of the area where my body has had physical contact with someone, but it's more of a reflex action than anything.

I have some gal pals who are very physical with their friends and enjoy holding hands when going out. I'm not exactly comfortable with that. And I'm particularly uncomfortable when any of my gal pals interlock their fingers with mine. I only interlock fingers with someone special, not with another girl. And especially not with an ordinary guy friend (but if you tried to, I wouldn't pull my hand away. That would be really rude). People who know my dislike for physical contact have asked, "how is your boyfriend going to kiss you next time?" Uh, people, that's an entirely different matter. Entirely different :)

I'm a leeetle more open to physical contact now as I realise that more and more of my girlfriends are getting physical (hey hey, don't think funny. I know it sounds weird). Well, not really more open. I'd say, more used to it. I guess sometimes, a touch can speak more than a thousand words (oooh... philosophical...)

I'm trying.

Today started out good (albeit at a very early 7am). Had a good Easter service (I vividly remember that it was good but I don't seem to remember anything about it) and a nice buffet brekkie in the canteen after that (consisting of siew mai, carrot cake, tau suan, assortments of nonya kueh etc). According to pastor, I yawned twice in 30 seconds during brekkie and he said, "This girl desperately needs sleep". I couldn't agree more. Went home, slept till 1.45pm, woke up and got ready for work immediately.

The day pretty much went downhill from there.

I do remember vaguely, though, that somewhere in my sleep, I received an sms from Ally McMei telling me she saw my car in church again. Track down the car owner!! I wonder what my beloved Tau Huay is doing at FCC.

Speaking of FCC, it's really weird cos it's always been Faith Community Church to me. But at work, FCC means Fire Command Centre (aka security checkpoint). Think about it.

Got my appraisal form yesterday and I have until the end of the month to rate myself. I'm still wondering what to do. I don't want to be stuck in this job forever. But at the same time, I don't think it's fair if I get confirmed then leave after 2 weeks' notice (haha, just remembered the movie). I'm starting to develop a dislike for the job and environment. I don't like the way certain things are done, the way you get the blame shoved on you sometimes and blah blah blah. I'm starting to sound shallow aren't I? I know, every job has its challenges, every work environment will come with a few black sheep that just irritate the core of your being.

And I, ladies and gents, have developed into a boring old yak with nothing to talk about apart from her work. Paul thinks it's ok. I don't. It's terribly one dimensional isn't it? Even now, I have nothing else to talk about and I'm bored blogging because the stuff I blog about is boring.

Does anyone want to hire me? Please?
p/s: I could be a good babysitter.

You know what would be really good at this very moment? A nice mug of hot tea. Earl Grey or Darjeeling. Or English Breakfast. And you know what else would be great? A bubble bath. With vanilla essential oils so I can come out smelling yummy :)

Tried to get no-pay leave on Sunday but I was too late. Everyone else is on leave apparently. So I'm gonna have to drag myself to work after getting some shut-eye following the Easter SUNRISE service. 7am... man. You know, it's been 4 years since I've attended Easter service in church. The past few years, Easter was spent at church camp in Perth. And I completely loved the sunrise services. There's something awesomely magnificent about being in the presence of God with the sun doing its standing ovation in slow motion. Absolutely wow-some.

:) was reminded of something special that happened to me at a sunrise about 6 years ago. Haha.. so cliched but memorable I guess. Lil might know what I'm talking about. Or those of you who knew me in JC. Wow. It's been a long time :) Hehe... getting the fuzzies... :) Josh Groban is currently adding to the fuzzies. I love his voice and his choice of songs. Excellent.

I was gonna accumulate my public holidays and use them together with my annual leave for a holiday in Perth. But now, we all have to clear our public holidays within the week they occur in. Shucks. *in case some of you are confused, people who work in hotels don't get public holidays off like normal people but we do get to claim them later*

Hmm...

I've always been a big supporter of the whole "fellowship" thing. Even if I don't like going somewhere, I'll go, simply because fellowship is important in building relationships. So even if I'm really tired, I'll drag myself to meet up with people.

BUT, having returned from my overnight outing at Sentosa, I can safely say that this was the worst chalet experience I've ever had. And possibly the mistake of my life. Well, I'm probably exaggerating (I know of at least one or two people who might be thinking, "I thought I was the worst mistake of your life" *grin*) but seeing as I went to this chalet ONLY for the purpose of bonding(I'm not a big fan of Sentosa), this experience was totally disasterous. But it has taught me one lesson: I need to love and accept people whether I like them or not. And I also need to love them even if they don't like me.

It's such a difficult thing to love. This is something that's becoming more and more pronounced in my life. I know what it's like to love someone you LIKE. But to love someone who steps on your toes and drives you up the wall is a challenge I have not yet mastered. How apt a reminder though. On Good Friday, our Lord died for all of us, people who probably drove and still drive Him up the wall, who have no regard for Him, who hate Him even. He loved us then, He loves us now.

Amazing love, how can it be
That You my King should die for me?

He did it again. Gave me a reminder at the perfect time. Not too soon, not too late. That's just the way He does things, isn't it? :)

TGIGF.

I did it. I sent out my resume.

*crosses fingers*

I reeeaaally wanna learn how to play the drums!!!! Argh! It's killing me!!! I've never wanted to learn an instrument this bad.... it's just that, I think I could be good at it, y'know?? As of now, I'm practising with books and pens and whatever else I can lay my hands on. The splash and crash will just have to be imaginary. I'll say it again, I've never wanted to do anything this bad...

Except for maybe the time when I wanted to be a lawyer. Sorry Shin, this will probably be a repeat of the email :)

I did you know. I really really wanted to be a lawyer. But when I realised that being professional might not go down well with your integrity and conscience, I gave up on that dream. The important thing for me was to be able to go to bed every night with a clear conscience. And I wasn't sure I'd be able to do that as a lawyer. Of course, upon graduation from childhood adolescence, I soon realised that most other careers will eventually lead you down that same path and it's just a matter of how you deal with it. Slapped myself in the face with that one.

I still think about it occassionally. Not as often as I used to when I was younger. Reality hits hard. Saw this job ad for sales/marketing execs, no job experience required, for a UK-based company, travel opportunities, intensive training provided. I'm suspicious of course. I mean, if it was such a big-shot company, surely they would list their company name in the ad. And surely they'd want someone with experience. Travel opportunities? To where? The emerging market in China? See, the cautiousness is coming out. But I'm going for it anyway. What do I have to lose eh? My dad asked what I would do if there was a job opportunity in Perth. I said I'd be very tempted to go. He said he would definitely go. And, I quote him, "after all, what the heck? You're still young!"

What the heck. Indeed.

although something tells me I'm not getting any younger...

Guess what? I'm taking a crash course in salsa. Yes, the latin american dance. A few of us are learning it from our colleague who's a professional salsa dancer. And we're scheduled to perform at the chalet. And you know what? Me like salsa =) I never expected to enjoy it but it's really funky! I sure hope all that hip rolling takes some inches off my waist!

Had a really tiring day today. Plus I cut my finger on a metal ring file. Of course, that doesn't compare to the doorlady who got her fingers crushed by the boot of a taxi when it slammed down. And it slammed shut. Poor girl yelled and was taken to the hospital. She ended up getting 3 days MC. Thinking about it makes me cringe. *mental note to self: never be a doorlady*

Another long day tomorrow with salsa practise in the arvo then work till 11pm. My eyes are itching terribly. I need my medication.

It's another one of those days. If you woke up feeling bright and chirpy, the weather outside would soon terminate whatever previous feelings of unspeakable joy you had.

And it's one of those days when everything just isn't right. And you feel like you deserve more. You deserve more good stuff in your life. More happiness. More people who are worth your effort. I've tried my darndest to believe in people and believe that they're worth the effort. But sometimes you just reach a point when you decide, "okay. that's enough". You know who you can count on when they stick by you under all circumstances, whether you're Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde. You know you've found a gem when someone accepts you for your imperfections instead of rejecting you for them (something sounds grammatically wrong there). But yes, I've learnt that the most hurtful thing is to be rejected for your imperfections. It's a double whammy if you get it told to your face. And you wonder why people can't be nicer. And you think, maybe I'm living in a fantasy-fairyfloss-prettypinkclouds type of land.

I'd love to go on but I'm late for work.

Hmm.. am compiling a list of pet peeves. Somewhere very near the top would be Singaporean drivers. I hate it when I get honked at when it's MY right of way. How did I know it was MY right of way? A very simple green light in the shape of an arrow. Grr... don't make me angry on the roads... (haha.. yah right, steady lah...) *note: it's very unlike me to say something like that. I think I'm becoming a heartlander (!!)*

Was in a relatively foul mood this morning ("foul" is such a strong negative isn't it? But I like it. It's like, a small word, but it's lethal. Short and sharp and to the point. Like, you know, when you commit a foul in a match and someone shouts it out, it's like, dang! But I digress). Thanks to Lil and Paul for thinking of me and praying for me. You're my darlings :) Cheryl, I didn't msg you because I didn't think you'd be awake ;) My foul mood started at about 8am and dissipated about half an hour later. Clear skies after that.

Am glad I'm working in the arvo tomorrow. If I get any less sleep than what I'm already getting, my brain is going to black out during meal times to make up for my lack of slumber. Quick, somebody teach me the art of sleeping standing up with your eyes open!!

Oh oh oh!! Guess who chose our hotel after all!! The VC's coming! Hehe... hmm.. should I be getting commission for this? ;)

Ok, I feel my body shutting down department by department. The legs have gone to sleep, the arms are slowing down, the neck is gone, so are the shoulders, and very soon, the br.ain.. wi.ll.. sh.u..t... d..o.w.....n. *but it'll still be dreaming. If my brain shuts down totally, it'll mean I'm dead won't it?*

Is it just me or is time going by really fast? It's almost mid April hey. Where did January, February and March go?

You know, it took me a reeeally long time to learn this lesson but I think I've finally learnt it anyhow. Life has to go on. We cannot live in fear of disease and war. Because these things happen. And will continue to happen. I'm done with being scared of a potentially fatal virus. I count it my privilege to be living in these times where the human spirit is put to the test (I know it sounds terribly cheesy and cliched and blah). But seriously, these are trying times. And if history proves accurate, these are usually the best times for the positive moulding and crafting of human character.

I'm done with fear of unemployment as well. I've realised that no matter how bad it is, there will always be a job somewhere. And if there isn't, I'll just treat myself to a holiday! (of course now air travel isn't exactly safe, which brings me back to the point about how life has to go on)

Life goes on.

I am now paying the price for screaming too much and laughing like a mad woman. Indeed. I am now blessed with a throbbing headache.

Went to Madam Wong's after work for drinks with my colleagues. Had a good time, had my first taste of bourbon coke (YUCK), danced, got thrown from one person to the other, had people dancing around me to prevent me from leaving, screamed, laughed (read above paragraph) and left in a taxi after MANY attempts to dance my way out of the crazy circle of people. Would have loved to stay a little longer but I have work tomorrow. Bummer.

Anyway, this is probably not something I wanna do on a regular basis, simply because I don't earn enough to sustain this. Once in a while is good for me. Now I'm hungry. Am craving cheese prata. Mmm...

Something tells me I should go to bed. My head seems to be ringing. And for some reason, I keep smiling. Hehe... Ok, I really need to get off to bed now. Catcha later!

p/s: sorry kel, i know i was supposed to talk to you tonight!

Ah yes. 'tis time for my next day off. You know you're pretty sad when your life is spent eagerly awaiting your day off like a kid gleefully rubbing his hands together on Christmas Eve in anticipation of Christmas Day itself.

My department's having a chalet thing at Sentosa next week. And I'm going. Which makes it the 3rd time in 4 months that I'm going to Sentosa. Ugh. I don't get the thing about Sentosa. Why does everyone like it so much? It's inconvenient to get in and out of it, especially at night, it's expensive, it's eerie at night, its beaches couldn't be more man-made, the drinks at the pubs are expensive, etc... I dunno... But I'm going 'cos I want to get to know people better. Build relationships. Things are never the same after a chalet experience or a camp. People that you previously only smiled at, you might interact with more at a camp and you come out of it taking that relationship 10 steps forward. It's a good thing.

I'm supposed to meet up with so many people but I keep putting it off. I promise coffee with everyone but I'm to lazy to call. Cheryl, you better call me. And there are 5 more people to meet up with. No, 6. The temptation of taking no-pay leave is getting greater. Nooo, I must resist... argggghh... nooo.....

Guess what I found? My primary school record book. This is what it said in Primary One:

1st semester: A responsible and reliable girl. Speaks and reads well. Tends to be untidy and careless in her written work. (LOL)
2nd semester: Hasn't done well this semester. Is careless and must work harder. Has leadership qualities. (well, looks like we're not off to a good start!)
PE: Is well-coordinated, agile and swift (thankyouthankyou)
Music: Is very interested in learning and shows aptitude in music.

Primary Two:
1st semester: A responsible and reliable girl. (I'm telling you, this teacher plagarised the primary one teacher)
2nd semester: Has done well. (??? That's it???)
PE: Melissa is easily motivated and interested in all PE games.
Music: Melissa is very accurate in tune and rhythm when singing. (uhbuhden)

Primary Three:
1st semester: She is strong in her English language but she needs to put in more effort in her Maths and Chinese language (this marks the beginning of a lifetime of handicap in maths and chinese!)
2nd semester: She must continue to pay more attention to her Maths and Chinese language. However, she has a very good command of English and she writes interesting essays.
PE: She has a good sense of balance and rhythm. (what's this thing about rhythm???)
Music: Has a clear natural voice and shows aptitude in music. (thankyouverymuch)

Primary Four:
1st semester: She responds eagerly in class. Did well in English. Must work harder in Chinese and Maths. Is capable of better results. (I'm headed towards Maths and Chinese doom)
2nd semester: There is plenty of room for improvement. (you know when a teacher says that, it ain't looking good)
PE: She is an energetic girl. Please refer to Fitness Record. (?!?!)
Music: She is mostly accurate in tune and rhythm when playing the recorder. She participated in the Founder's Day concert. (Hello?? Mostly accurate???)

Primary Five:
1st semester: Melissa has done well. She should devote more attention and read more Chinese books to improve her Chinese. (LOL)
2nd semester: Shows greatest need for improvement in Mathematics. Melissa is a responsible monitress. (Aha! So my Chinese isn't as bad as my Maths!)
PE: Refer to Physical Fitness Test Record. (In case you're wondering, my Fitness Record says "Very Good")
Music: Very keen in music. Member of the school choir which was awawrded the Certificate of Distinction for the SYF competition 1991. (for some reason, I'm not particularly proud of this. Makes me feel very nerdy. You know, Choir Girl - translation: nerd)

Primary Six:
1st semester: Melissa responds well in class. She is at her best in English. She must be encouraged not to give up striving for satisfactory marks in Mathematics. (see, teacher gave up already. Satisfactory marks in Maths is enough.)
2nd semester: Melissa shows interest in class. She must continue to strive for good results.
PE: Refer to Fitness Test Record. (FYI, I got a silver)
Music: Melissa has strong musical aptitude and skills.

There you have it, ladies and gents. Mel from the age of 6 1/2 to 12. I wasn't kidding when I said my deficiency in Maths and Chinese began from a tender age...

I have a chocolate craving. Not just any chocolate. REAL gooey, sticky, melty, chewy chocolate. I really love those chocolates filled with more chocolate inside, except the chocolate inside is the chewy, gooey kind. YUM. Chocolate is supposed to make you happy. I suggest extra chocolate rations for the troops in the Gulf. I think Bush and Saddam need chocolate too. I think I need chocolate too.

There's nothing worse than bad chocolate. And by bad chocolate, I don't mean expired chocolate. I mean those bland plastic-tasting brown cubes/balls passing off as chocolate. Haven't you ever had those mass-produced chocolates that come in a big flat rectangular tin, with the word "assorted" on the cover? Ok, we're not talking Lindt or Godiva here. We're talking the seriously mass produced type of chocolates you sometimes find in last-minute put together new year hampers. Most of the time, the chocolate will be surrounding a tiny portion of nut. Different types of nuts of course, hence the "assorted" label. The chocolate ball is usually shiny on the outside (because of all the oil and fat) and crumbly on the inside. Now, "crumbly chocolate" are not the 2 words that go together best.

On the other hand, I do have fond memories of mass produced chocolate (I assure you, I am not a bigot). Remember when we were in school/Sunday School? Every time Easter rolled around (no pun intended), we'd get these tiny chocolate eggs in retro alumnium foil wrapping (complete with polka dots and funky patterns). Those chocolate eggs were yummy because they were special :) And probably because we didn't know any better. And how's a kid to know who Godiva is??

Now, our palates have been opened to a world of alternatives to the ordinary chocolate in the market (I'm really not a bigot!). The Margaret River Chocolate Factory, for those of you who do not know, has opened a branch in Freo. If you're coming down from South Street, turn left at the Shell Station and go all the way down. It should be somewhere on your left. If my memory doesn't fail me. It's next to an old petrol station (!). By the way, if you continue all the way down that road, you'll eventually come to a dead end and there's a park there. It's really beautiful. There's a nice gazebo too. A pleasant change from King's Park I guess :)

Lest you think this blog post is dedicated to slamming all mass producers of chocolate, it is not. I just didn't want to talk about SARS anymore. I've also had a taste of the chocolate given to NSmen in Singapore as part of their combat rations. I shall remain quiet on my verdict of that chocolate.

You know what? I think I dreamt about chocolate last night. That’s a whole lot better than the dreams I used to have of WWII, getting hopelessly lost in a maze, being involved in a drug scam…

Token entry for today :)

Since my friends have recently been engaged in a spate of thesis-writing frenzy, I thought I'd write one of my own. My topic will explore the relationship between mobile phone techology and social life. I have come up with several hypotheses that should support and establish my arguments.

How to tell if your social life has gone kaput:
1. Your parents' mobile phones ring and beep more in a day than yours
does in a week.
2. Your own mobile phone is used more as an alarm clock than for the
purposes originally intended by its manufacturer.
3. The only times you pick up a phone are to answer calls at work.
4. You think the orientation of the numbers on a telephone/mobile phone
keypad are the same as that of the computer keyboard.
5. Your mobile phone is falling apart but you can't be bothered getting
a new one because you hardly use it anyway.

Now all I need to do is find a supervisor. Any takers?

I love dusk. I can safely say it's my favourite time of day. I love the gradual blanketing of the world in soft shades of pink, peach, rose, lavender and robin's egg blue (for those unfamiliar with robin's egg blue, think Tiffany & Co.). Everything is softer, calmer, more serene. I think dusk has the extraordinary power to quell even the stormiest of moods. You know, as the sun snuggles into bed, it's as if the whole world blushes in unison to thank it for a hard day's work. I love dusk. I love the colours of dusk. I know I've already said that but I really do enjoy the warm, muted shades that seem to be moving all the time. You never have the same orange and pink for very long when it comes to dusk. And perhaps, that's the magic of it. That's why it's so precious to me. Because I know that dusk lasts for only a short period of time after which, the darkness takes over. You only have dusk for that brief moment in time and you want to hold on to that moment forever. You want to drown in the muted light of the dying day.

Day and night seem so blatantly clear. When it's day, it's bright and sunny. When it's night, it's a deep blue and black. Dusk is the vanishing bridge that links the two and often seems surreal, barely there, creative in its use of colours, mysterious in its identity.

And now, the evening has come. And it will be another day before I see the dusk again.

SARS is getting nearer and nearer. I don't think it would be wise of me to reveal anything on my blog. All I can say is that there are occupational hazards where I'm working. And it's very natural that there would be such hazards for people working in this position, in such an industry. Today, I learnt something which sent my heart racing and, I suppose, I shouldn't broadcast to the world.

We've started spraying the counter area with disinfectant. Like every few hours. Cos we're paranoid :) You know, every one of us at the desk is so edgy about the whole SARS thing. I wish I could take a month's leave or something. Even if it's unpaid leave. You know, I'm thinking, I really don't want to catch the virus because it will be so terribly inconvenient for the whole family. Everyone will have to be quarantined and the apartment will have to be disinfected. I don't even want to think about the people at work who'll have to be quarantined. And all the guests I meet everyday. See how it can spread to so many people? Seriously, all you can do in such times is depend on God. And entrust Him with your life. I'm made so acutely aware that my life is not my own. It's not for me to hold on to or demand an extension for. And you know what? Your life can become your idol. You know, when you're so obsessed with making sure you live till a very very ripe old age (and hopefully delay death for as long as possible) and somewhere along the line, become a hypochondriac (is that how you spell it?).

Well, if any good's come out of this mess, it's that people are now becoming more health-conscious. I know I've started eating more fruits, taking vitamin c pills and drinking lots of water. People used to have to force me to drink water. So I guess there are good things that have evolved from the bad. Even if it's just a very thin, barely-there silver lining.