I fight battles everyday. Today was no different. But I seemed to be fighting consecutive battles. So consecutive it's not even funny. Raised my voice more than a couple of times today, something I'm trying to do less of. Have you ever realised how the more you try to be good, the more situations emerge to entice you to misbehave??? And so I'm praying that the Holy Spirit's alarm clock will ring louder whenever I'm in difficult situations so I don't get too impulsive in reacting to things. It's helped.

Had some sort of an accident yesterday. Classic. We were having a photoshoot in one of the rooms on the 8th floor and I stepped out to get some stuff. As I was turning a corner in the corridor, I heard one of the housekeeping girls laughing and running. To warn her of my impending presence, I cleared my throat loudly and coughed a little. Apparently, she took no notice of that and kept on running at full steam until she turned the corner and BAM! ran straight into me. And let out a bloodcurdling scream at the same time. I should have been the one screaming man! She was no cushion!

So anyhow, I tried very hard to maintain my composure and told her very gently (more so because I was in pain) and in very broken Mandarin that she should watch where she's going. Although from what I said, it probably came out as, "you should see clearer". Which is utter nonsense lah. But she apologised profusely and I was actually quite amused but still, she shouldn't have been laughing and running in the corridors. What if she had collided with a guest instead???

Also had the opportunity to talk to an Australian couple in the lift. I asked them where they were from and they said they were from Perth!!! HOME!!! Only managed as brief a conversation as 8 floors via an elevator would have allowed. And they pronounced it "Puurth"... just the way it's meant to be!! So there, I got my nostalgia kick for that moment.

It's only Tuesday and I'm already looking forward to the weekend. Not good is it?

When God made me, I think He put in extra tear ducts and gave me an added pint of emotions.

I went to visit my colleague in hospital today. She's a new mother now! I got to see Baby Tesia and she is absolutely gorgeous. I love how newborns are so tiny and wrinkly and red and perfect. My colleague's mum was there as well and helping to care for Baby Tesia, who's her first grandchild. I looked at them and thought how fortunate they all were to have one another. Three generations of women in the room, all bursting with life. It's amazing.

Just now, as I was preparing to spend time with God, I thought about my mum. About how I only had her as a mum for a short time. And how we were never on great terms. And it hurt me so much. I've always felt guilty about going overseas to study. Those were the years her illness started to develop and I wasn't there. In fact, I wasn't even very nice to her when she called me. I was basically never really nice to her. Maybe if I had been in Singapore, things would have been different? Maybe if I had seen for myself the change that was taking place in her, I would have done something? You wouldn't believe all the what-ifs that are going through my mind now.

And in my outpouring of hurt and tears, God reminded me that He is sovereign. That everything works for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose. I asked Him to forgive me for my broken relationship with Mum and thanked Him for her. And then I asked that He would help me not to envy others but to treasure what I have. I still have Mum, she's still here. Physically anyway.

It's not the first time I've shared about Mum here. But I thought I would just share again because there are many who have never known their Mum, who have lost their Mum, who have broken relationships with their Mum. It's important to reconcile. Tell Mum you love her. You know, I've seen my colleague through her nine months of pregnancy and today saw her joy at her labour of love. It's amazing to be a Mum. And Mummys are amazing too. I don't know if God will choose to heal mine but I shouldn't treat her like less of a person because she's not. So here you go, Mummy.. here's a song I wrote for you:

For Mummy

You gave life to me

And hoped in your heart

I'd grow to be

Someone who'd make you proud

Who'd do all the things

That you never could

Who'd climb every mountain

Sail all the seas

Dance in the rain and

Swing on the trees

Who'd have a bright future

Better than yours

Who'd find only happiness

Knock on my door

So thank you for the dreams you dreamt for me

And all the whispered prayers you said for me

And even though you cannot hear me now

Please know that I am thankful for

The mother you have been to me.

2 people celebrated their birthdays today - one was my colleague and the other was another colleague's brand new baby! So congratulations to all :)

A group of us went to Ellenborough Market Cafe at Swissotel Merchant Court for dinner with my birthday colleague and had the greatest time there. The service is impeccable and I'm big on service so for me to say that, it must have been really good.

Following that, we walked along Riverside Point, Mohd Sultan and finally ended up at Liquid Room in Gallery Hotel. I would have preferred a place to chill out as opposed to a place with loud music designed to align your heartbeat with the beat of the song. One cranberry juice later, I passed my remaning drink coupon to someone and left. I'm really not that hot anymore about exposing myself to noise and air pollution, bringing the scent of the club back with me, washing my hair 3 times to get rid of the smoke and waking up feeling like crapadoo. My colleagues thought I wasn't feeling well. But I think I was just out of it. It's not fun anymore. Actually, it was never really fun. Most of the time, I was there because I was sad. It's not the best therapy. Maybe I don't enjoy it anymore cos I've found better therapy? Am really trying to live my life as a good example to people who do not yet know the Lord. I've made so many mistakes in the past and I'm sure those mistakes have stumbled many. I will have to account for them when I finally meet with God face to face. And I want to keep that list as short as possible. It's pretty long already so let's not make it longer :)

Alright, I'm knackered. Time to sleep.

I'M BACK!!!

Hello to all who have missed me terribly and to those who haven't... well... I'm sure there aren't any...

So anyway, hmm... I'm wondering if I should condense 6 days' worth of travel stories in one entry. Oh well, I'll just write and see how far I get.

DAY ONE
Sabah was everything I expected it to be. I felt like I had stepped into Singapore in the 70s. Although how I know what Singapore was like in the 70s is beyond me since I wasn't born then. But Kota Kinabalu is devoid of fancy malls, upmarket restaurants, well-paved roads or clean toilets. The nicest shopping centre I was at is as fancy as Far East Plaza. But with toilets as groovy as those in People's Park or some Chinatown complex probably. Another assumption as I have never been to toilets in People's Park.. haha..

Met my 3 year-old niece for the first time and we bonded instantly. She's a precocious little girl who speaks such fluent Cantonese that I get tongue-tied trying to hold a conversation with her. I ended up feeling like quite the idiot. Needless to say, I spent much time playing with her, feeding her, and hugging her (more like squeezing her to bits). She's got the most adorable baby sister too. I think she's about 3 months old and looking very much like a doll. How do they make babies this cute???

Well there's not much of day one to talk about since it was very short. And I don't think I'll continue this DAY X thing either. It's too much work!! So here are somme funny moments I remember:

- Saw a coffeeshop banner that read "HATO HATO RAUM". I honestly thought it was some exotic East Malaysian food. Until I realised that the cloth banner was so thin that the ink had completely seeped through. It was, of course, "MUAR OTAH OTAH", which made a whole lot more sense.

- Got totally stumped by my niece who asked me at least 5 times why I wasn't married. And since it's hard to explain even in plain English, I didn't know how to tell her in Cantonese. In the end, I settled for "ngoh mm oi" (I don't want to).

- Went for a church service. In Mandarin. The people were really friendly and shook my hand so firmly. Pity I had no idea what they were saying to me.

- Every single shop I went to, the cashier/salesgirl would speak to me in Bahasa Melayu. What's up with that??? But I learnt a new phrase - "saya tak faham" (I don't understand).

So Kota Kinabalu's not exactly the cleanest or most modern city but it's certainly got charm and the best part is, it's got my wonderful relatives there :)

I'll update more when I think of more stuff.. will upload pix too. Watch out for them!

So I'm leaving tomorrow. Today actually. And I haven't packed. Haha.

It's been a long time since I'm going away for this long. In recent years, my trips have been weekend getaways as opposed to a stretch. But in a way, I'm looking forward to it. Perhaps this is the break I've been yearning for.

Mixed feelings as I leave. Will write again when I get back. Till then, take care everyone!

Love lots,
Mel

I had a massive ulcer today and a colleague suggested that I take something cooling - like barley. So after lunch, we went to one of the herbal tea shops in Bugis to get some barley - one for me, one for her. All was well till I got back to the office and opened the bottle. Now I've got this thing about reading ingredients of things, not just food products but anything at all - shampoo, cleansers etc. So I looked at the label and, with a gradual dilating of my pupils and drop of my jaw, read the first ingredient - "semen coicis". Whatthehey????? It certainly did NOT help that barley is, by nature, a whitish cloudy mixture with a viscosity that really depends on the brewer's liking. I sat there, totally stunned and trying very hard not to puke my guts out.

Upon partial recovery of my sanity, I took a brisk walk to my colleague's desk and asked her what the heck semen coicis was. Needless to say, she burst into laughter but had no answer for me. Totally dissatisfied and still a little freaked out, I turned to the trusty web for some answers. No way was that bottle of questionable contents coming anywhere near my mouth before I knew what was in it!

This is what I found out:

DESCRIPTION

Broad ovoid or elongated-elliptical, 4~8 mm long, 3~6 mm wide. Externally milky white, smooth, occasionally with yellowish-brown testa. One end obtusely rounded, the other end relatively broad and slightly dented with 1 pale brown dotted hilum. Dorsal surface rounded and protruding; ventral surface having 1 relatively broad and deep longitudinal furrow. Texture hard, fracture white and starchy. Odour, slight; taste, slightly sweet.

Hello?!?! That sounds even more dodgy!!! But anyway, if you're wondering, semen coicis is a really bad name for some sort of barley. Felt better after that.

And if you must know, yes, it tasted good.

Today, the retreat committee made our way across the... umm... what's that body of water called... ok anyway, we made our way to Sentosa to do an island recce for the games we're gonna have there.

It was HOT. And trudging through the beach in jeans is not the coolest (literally) thing either. While on a tram, I saw this little ang moh boy in swimming trunks with two red floats wrapped around his flailing arms, running into the path of our tram. And he was the cutest thing, wobbling up with red floats on his arms and a mop of wet blonde hair. The next minute, his dad ran out, scooped him up and gently smacked his tiny hand twice. It was too cute. Haha. Oh, and we also saw the most HUMONGOUS dogs. 2 gigantic black dogs that frankly, looked more like bears to me.

I've never been really comfortable with Sentosa, mainly because it's always been an eerie place to me. It's better now cos they're really developing it into a major tourist attraction but with all the abandoned houses on the island, it gives me the shivers. And it is not a good palce to be at night. I really get spooked out by that place man...

Anyhow, am leaving for Sabah this Thursday. Won't be back till Tuesday so don't expect too many updates then (if at all)! I hope it'll be a restful trip and not one where I have to deal with fussing relatives. I don't think I could take that.

The weekend is finally in sight. And all I can think of is all the stuff that has yet to be done. Takes a while for my brain to register that it's the weekend and by the time it does, the weekend's over and I need to psyche my brain up for a full week of work again. It's like brain aerobics.

Today, I noticed something really funny about myself. Ok, so maybe it's not haha-funny but it's certainly quirky. I realised that I walk with a bounce. And how did I realise that? Weeeell, I noticed that everything in front of me keeps going up and down as I walk. Isn't that funny??? Ok, so that was pretty lame (no pun intended) but I think I've always had a funny gait. Some well-meaning friends once told me I walk like a duck and for one of my birthdays, they actually got me a stuffed ducky as a present. How sweet. Anyway, I believe I inherited my duckwalk from my mum. Just as I did my tummy. Well, that's what Dad says anyway. He also said I inherited his broad shoulders. Hahahaha.

Weekend, please come soon...

Had lunch today with an old schoolmate from secondary school, who also happened to be my senior in AC. He's currently working in a law firm and I was quite appalled at what he told me about lawyers - they don't have a life. Duh. I mean, I've always known that they work really hard and long hours but when he told me that some women lawyers see their children only once a week, I thought that was ridiculous. And their kid would call them at 6.30pm to ask why they weren't home. That's just heartbreaking. And there was this lawyer couple he told me about who would take their children cycling at East Coast Park maybe once a month. The kids would cycle and do whatever they wanted while the parents whipped out their laptops and worked. I know how you can be really absorbed by work without being able to come up for air. I understand how it can consume you. But when kids are involved, I think it's just sad that they're left without their parents. It's just my opinion but I think that if you have the intention of being career person of the year or if you're going to be an extreme workaholic, then don't have kids. It's not fair to them.

I believe in a cut-off time when your body just needs to stop and recharge. We weren't made to work 25 hours a day. I've stayed in the office till 11.30pm and found it to be totally unproductive. After 10.30pm, I started to talk to myself, my eyelids felt heavy and I started singing. In the office. I know it can be freaky to walk into an office at 11pm at night and hear someone singing but I sort of did that to stay awake (and also cos I was getting really sleepy).

Anyway, I hope I'm not coming across too judgemental cos I'm really not trying to be. I just feel a bit bad for the kids :(

On a lighter note, I left the office at about 7pm tonight so I was able to see the Christmas lights and the huge Christmas tree outside Raffles City. We see it in the afternoons as well of course but there's nothing like being soothed by the sparkles and twinkles of an enormous Christmas tree against the night sky. There's always something about Christmas decorations that make you feel like everything in the world is alright :)

I can't wait for Christmas :)

And so I carried a 3-day-old baby in my arms. And it was the sweetest thing. And when she was in my arms, I finally understood why they call babies a bundle of joy. She was soooo tiny and soooo adorable and all wrapped up in a little blanket. And she would fidget ever so slightly as I held her, and then settle back to sleep. When she opened her eyes to gaze at us, she must have seen 3 bright-eyed adults staring back at her in awestruck wonder. Babies are so amazing. I fell in love with her instantly and almost couldn't bear to let her go.

I'm finding it hard to settle back into the groove of working regular days. Last week was just weird with all the breaks in between (not that I'm complaining). This week feels like it's gonna be super long and I'm looking forward to the weekend again!

Ok, so May's just asked me where's the best place to chill out by oneself. Oh dear, have I developed a reputation for being a loner?? Now people actually ask me for good spots to chill out alone? Don't worry May, I'm not slamming you. I'm just finding this quite amusing :) But anyway, since I'm rather fascinated by this, I shall give you guys the lowdown on Mel's top ten chill out spots BY ONESELF (and I'm assuming we're limiting this to our country). Muahahaha... ok, here we go:

(in random order)
1. Book Cafe - Mohd Sultan
2. Lobby Lounge - Conrad Centennial Hotel
3. Cafe Les Amis - Botanic Gardens
4. Borders Cafe - Wheelock Place
5. Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf - Guthrie House
6. Palawan Beach - Sentosa
7. Earshot Cafe - The Arts House
8. McDonald's - West Coast Park
9. Royal Copenhagen Tea Lounge - Takashimaya
10. Venezia - Singapore Art Museum

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen - Mel's Top Ten Places to Chill Out ALONE. Of course if you're talking about great coffee places to hang out at with friends, there's a separate list (which would also include some of the above). There's also a separate list for best places to booze (hehe).

If anyone has other suggestions for "great places to _____", please feel free to leave a comment. I'd love to check out new spots :)

Ok May, I hope I've answered your question :) Happy chilling!!

My secondary schoolmate has given birth. We're gonna troop down to see her tomorrow. It wasn't that long ago we were cramming for the 'O's and now we're all having babies! Well not me but a number of former schoolmates... I think it's wonderful how we're kind of laying the bricks for the next generation to come along and give life their best shot. We're pioneering something here and it's really beautiful.

I'm already an aunt to my cousins' kids but someday, I'll be mum to mine. And it's exciting to think about those who will come after us, who will negotiate life with the same fervour and surpass the previous generation with such a potential for greatness. I know this world is broken and in such disarray. But I also know that there is a distinct purpose for each new life that breathes their soul into this world and proceeds to leave a spectacular legacy behind.

We're just sojourners here. But before we leave, the world needs to have been a part of that purpose we were called to sojourn here for. And our footprints will say much about what we've done, where we've been. And the mended hearts will show, the restored lives will reflect, the joyous cries will sound.

And the world will know that Christ has been in our midst.

Earlier this year, my cell packed our bags and retreated to the hilly haven of Hangout @Mt.Emily. Here are some pix for your viewing pleasure:


Here's us playing bridge. At cell retreat. Hahaha. Oh, look how many sets I've won!


Check out the totally sleepy look on my face. I am so NOT a morning person.


My awesome cell group. Gosh, we're quite huge aren't we??

Everyone knows I love my dad a lot. But this time, I'm just so mad at him. I'm not feeling really well now cos I've got a real funky sore throat going on and so the family went for dinner without me. I said I wasn't hungry then and dad said he'd buy some noodles back for me.

9pm comes and the family gets back. With NO DINNER FOR ME. By that time, I was tearing apart a helpless kiwifruit on the verge of decomposition. The kiwifruit, not me. And when I find out there's no dinner, I flipped!! There I was, psyching myself up for some noodles and then, there's none!!! There's not a strand of carbohydrate-laden noodle for this sick puppy!!! Dad said he called me but I didn't pick up the phone. Hello!! He called my mobile!! Why would you call someone's mobile if they were home??? And if you couldn't get them on their mobile, would you not call them at home?? Especially if you knew pretty darn well they were indeed, HOME.

I guess I was really upset because I was not feeling well and I felt really neglected. You know how when you're sick, all your emotions get multiplied 100x? And you feel like you should be queen? You all know how that feels right? RIGHT?

So anyhow, I'm pretty upset now. And hungry. But who cares right??? Ah, see the emotions... oooh... hell hath no fury like a woman sco... ah, you know what I mean...

Back to work tomorrow!!! Noooooooooo......!!!

I tried to sleep in today. I really did. But the sun wouldn't let me. Neither would my body clock. I feel cheated. Hmph.

Anyway, did you know that there's an anti-dengue song/rap on tv??? I mean, I half expected it. There's a song/rap for everything. From national development to SARS, every single occurence in our tiny island nation seems to be inspiration for creative (or not, depending on your take) minds to birth mind-boggling song/raps. I guess I should just be thankful that this particular one doesn't star Phua Chu Kang. Instead, it has cheery pictures of dengue hazards at home, with lyrics highlighted karaoke-style. At least it was amusing (after I got over my initial need to cringe and roll my eyes while letting my jaw drop in sheer disbelief).

All that said, I woke up with a swollen eyelid because some irritating insect decided to have it for supper! How ironic.

I am not a happy chappy.