I asked myself this question the other day - what would have happened if I had gone down the publishing route and become a magazine writer? How different would things have been? I'd be wearing jeans and baby tees instead of tailored suits. I'd be accepting lunch invites from hotels instead of doing the inviting. I'd be writing and writing and writing instead of writing and coordinating and designing and negotiating and supervising. I'd be working five day weeks instead of five-half.

But I guess I made my own decisions. Decided to pursue PR instead of journalism. Well, at least I still get to write here :) Best thing is, I get to write WHATEVER I want to write. Hah! Here, I'm editor-in-chief, writer, consultant, designer, all in one! Coolness. I correct my own grammar (or not) and decide what goes into the next issue (post). So in actuality, I do have the best of both worlds don't I? I have my loyal readers (locally and internationally!) and then I have my "real" job in PR. It's really strange how both jobs look glamourous on the surface but couldn't be more unglamourous. It's hard work, both. Really tough. But I figure I'll get back into writing and freelance when I need the money (not that I don't need money now). Writing's great 'cos you can work from home.

Well, I guess I'll be happy in the hotel for now. At least the food's free :)

Had a lovely dinner with Lilian and went for coffee after that. Really excited about our impending Melbourne trip. The last time we were overseas together was when she paid me a visit in Perth. In fact, she was the only friend to come visit me in my 3 1/2 years there. Am just thinking of the cool stuff we'd be able to do in Melbourne... stroll down the city streets, lounge over coffees, sniff out fashion bargains :) Am looking forward to it indeed. LOVE the thought of not having to go to work. LOVE that. You know, I kept my baggage tag from my last trip to Melbourne cos you know how they have the country abbreviation on it.. like Singapore is SIN. Well, Melbourne is MEL. No prizes for guessing why I kept it :)

Random thought - I love Eternity for Men. I think it's a really sexy scent. Doesn't matter who's wearing it, it still lends a sensual aura to the person. My first boyfriend used to spray it on cards that he gave me and I would use them as bookmarks in my Bible. Boy, did I love to flip my Bible then, for obviously different reasons ;) It's been 8 years since but I still love it. And I get distracted by it :) Every time an Eternity wearer walks past, my nose takes it in, then my mind blanks out for a few seconds, then a silly smile appears on my face. So the next time you see me grinning like an idiot, you can be sure there's Eternity in the air ;)

I'm in a retro mood. I've got retro music playing in my head. I love retro! You know, Charlie's Angels type of music.. I recall having this conversation with Lilian in the car once. I think that was the day we were driving out to have ice cream and I was singing my lungs out. Pretty out of tune too. We have fun :)

Retro mama for the night. Yeah.

Alright, just a short one tonight. Got my heel caught in the groove of the elevator but managed to yank it out without having to take off my shoe. Mildly unglam but seeing as it was 11pm, there weren't many people around.

Quite a stressful day at work today. Stress-filled morning which resulted in a persistent sharp pain in my heart. Literally. Was quite worried because it really hurt and anything that hurts in the chest area is of some concern to me. Nic told me to see a doc and Pete said to take deep breaths. Eventually, the pain went away. Towards the end of the day... Sigh... my body is in such a bad shape :(

Anyway, I have to go rest now. Work tomorrow.

Bleah.

Was listening to a beautiful rendition of "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered" by Sinead O'Connor. I'm totally amazed at her voice. Didn't know she could do jazz. Sweet :)

And now, I've got Eva Cassidy slowing me down after a long day. It's great to be home, relaxed and not rushing out anywhere. It's funny though. Every time I don't have anything to do after work, my natural reaction is to call someone out for a coffee. But then I realise I have to rest. So what do I do? I go home and pamper myself with my favourite jazz numbers. Nice :)

I've been terribly, terribly distracted these few days. This entire week actually (including last week). It's not a distraction I need, nor want. And it's way too soon to be distracted. But I am. And I don't know what to do about it. I've commanded Lil to snap me out of it :) But I can't help it. I get distracted as easily as gravity keeps me on the ground.

Ok, it's really weird when a GUY sings "Killing Me Softly". It sounds gay. Even if it is Luther Vandross. Especially if it's Luther Vandross. Pardon my apparent homophobia. I'm tolerant but it's not my preference. It's also very strange when a guy sings "Cry Me A River". *shiver* too sensitive new age for me.

Ugh. Distracted.

:(

I have found yet another new love. And it's not doing much to keep my figure slim. I have fallen in love with kaya toast. Thin layers of kaya and butter sandwiched between crisp rectangular slices of bread, with a divine serving of 2 half-boiled eggs (pass the pepper and soya sauce please), downed with a cup of steaming authentic teh. Glorious.

Funny thing was, I never liked kaya. I pretty much abhorred it. I mean, think about it. It's EGG jam. Eww... :p But the other day, I was out with my colleagues (during working hours! *gasp*) and we went to Golden Mile complex where they had the most amazing set I'd had! It was called the Breakfast Set (mind you, I was having this at 5.45pm) and included all the things I mentioned above, for a mere $2!! TWO dollars! It was really really good. I mean, REALLY yummy. And I wanted more after I'd finished everything! This was sort of an epiphany for me.

People are easily fooled by my size and don't often think much of my eating prowess. But I assure you, I CAN EAT. Ask May. When we were out at dinner the other night, I was so hungry I wanted to eat a cow! And when some other colleagues and I were sitting down to dinner at the Cafe, they were absolutely mortified at the amount I was chugging down! So when I talk about kaya toast and eating heaps of it, you'd better believe it.

And now is just the perfect time to log off so I can head to bed with visions of sweet kaya toast, delicate soft-boiled eggs and fragrant teh in my sleepy little head. Mmm...

I have a gripe. I couldn't find contact lens solution in 7-Eleven, Cold Storage or the petrol station. I know, I should've gone out before the stores closed but I was taking a nap.. :(

I am sad.

:(

After lunch today, we headed to the Ridout Tea Garden McDonald's at Queensway. You know, where they have the Japanese garden with all the little turtles? Then as we broke up to go our separate ways, I just decided I would walk home. To put it simply, I had a Forrest Gump moment. Now, to do this, you must have a certain level of childlike ignorance. Ignorance of the concept of distance. I didn't really know how far it was or how long it would take me. I just wanted to walk. Never mind that the sun was BLAZING. Never mind that I was in flimsy flip flops not made for long distance walking. Never mind that I had a heavy New Living Translation in my bag. I just decided to walk. And walk I did. And walk. And walk. Without stopping except at traffic lights.

Along the way, (like when I reached Holland Village) there was a banner for "brisk walking classes". I thought that was funny. And then at one of the bus shelters, there was a poster with a wheelchair-bound girl saying "My feet may be weak but I am not". How apt I thought :)

It was really interesting, my little adventure. I reached home with terribly sore, blistered feet, a soaking wet body and a face that was red, pink, white and damp with perspiration. Like I had just done the MacRitchie cross country.

Well, my journey made me realise that I live in a very westernised part of Singapore. Apart from the fact that it IS geographically in the west, I didn't really pass much "typical" Singaporean housing. Mostly they were private houses which looked like they could have come out of Australia and even America. I didn't feel like I was walking in Singapore. Felt like Malibu for some reason... clear blue skies, hot sun, occasional breeze. Not that I've been to Malibu. Just felt like what I think Malibu would be like :)

Reminded me also of the time I walked from SV to Freo. I can't remember how long that took but today's walk took me about slightly more than an hour. Feels good though. I think I walked off my lunch, my strawberry sundae and probably last week's meals as well. Ok, maybe not :)

I feel good :)

I am troubled.

*frown*

Coffee turned into a late-night-early-morning affair. I can't remember the last time I came home at 4am. But it felt nice to be able to go home at whatever time, simply because I didn't need to go to work the next day. Thank God for public holidays :)

Didn't play much frisbee today with the cell. Ok, didn't play ANY frisbee because:
1. I was still sleepy from my late night out.
2. I was cramping. You know, in the girly monthly way. Ugh. UGH.

Today, I consciously relaxed. While the others were frisbee-ing, I stretched out on the straw mat and looked up at the tree branches through my sunnies. And I just lay there and did NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. And it was fabulous. The wind played with the leaves of the tree above me and together with bits of sky, created a really pretty ceiling for me to gaze at. The peace was addictive. I just wanted more. And more.

I love it when I'm allowed to do nothing. Love it.

Boss got discharged today (yay!) but is on another week's worth of mc (no yay). I'm still worn out, stressed out, bummed out. I need a coffee break. Tomorrow night will be the perfect time to head on out to town or to the Village and caffeinate myself since the next day's a public holiday. Coffee anyone?

On the way home, I was so weary I almost wanted to message my bolster to tell her I miss her (ok, don't freak out on me now... my little bolster Childe [pronounced "Child-ee"] has been my constant companion since I was a toddler). Usually when I'm tired or sad, I message my boyfriend to say I miss him. Whoever the boyfriend may have been at that particular point in time. Simply because a boyfriend is a nice warm comforting hug. Literally and metaphorically. Now that I am boyfriendless, Childe seemed like the natural alternative. But then I realised:
1. Childe doesn't have a phone.
2. Even if Childe had a phone, she couldn't retrieve my message cos she doesn't have fingers.
3. Oh, Childe just so happens to be inanimate. Heh.

Yeah, it was kinda at that point that I realised I was overworked and way too stressed.

Coffee would be good.

Not much better today. Sorry if my posts are depressing... I wish I had something better to update on :) Ok, I'll try...

So today, I was having dinner at the Cafe with my colleagues. There was this adorable little tot with a lovely crop of blonde hair, running around barefoot. He was so so so cute I wanted to pinch his plump little cheeks!! Which then prompted my colleagues to note that they'd never let their kids near me. If and when they have kids...

Yeah, that's it from me for today. Blogged for the sake of it. Nothing much to say. Hope the boss gets better soon.

Today was another bad day. I heard my boss' condition is getting worse. It's quite worrying. Also, I've been getting scolded by every other person around. The scolding I can take, no worries. But when the RDOSM said I was hopeless, that was another story. It was the last straw. I'd been taking all the chiding from everyone but for her to say that I'm hopeless was really uncalled for. I haven't cried like this since Daniel and I broke up. And there was this incredible feeling of loneliness, helplessness and despair. I'm so tired.

I don't know what else to say. Her comment cut real deep. I am seriously hurt by it :(

Watched the Singapore v Indonesia match tonight. Am inspired to exercise... haha... but what should I do? Should I run? Swim? Play a team sport? Well I can't play a team sport 'cos there's no team to play with and anyway, my experience with team sports always left me feeling very left out 'cos no one ever passed the ball to me. You know, they'd look my way and even when I was open, no one would pass it to me. Oh well. Yeah, I was pretty scarred from all that.. haha...

Then again, in JC, I was a pretty good goalie when the girls played soccer (and of course you woudn't want to send the ball my way since I'm the goalie). Mostly by fluke deflections. Hehe.. But contrary to popular belief, I actually do enjoy sports even though I may not be a stellar sportsperson.

Ok, maybe... just MAYBE, I'll start jogging on Saturdays. Maybe.

Was at the Brewforte Stadium tonight for Tiger Beer's Rip and Roar screenings of Liverpool v Man U and Spurs v Chelsea. Well I didn't have to be there but I thought I'd go down anyway to catch in on the action, show my face and take some pictures for publicity's sake (and to show people that I was at the hotel when I didn't need to be!)

The atmosphere was great! Tons of people, cheering, laughing, even people at the adjacent Raffles Hotel stood in the hotel corridors to watch (the match was projected onto the exterior wall of our hotel). I met 2 JC friends, Lil's dad, a number of colleagues and saw a few celebs hanging around... it was a fun atmosphere. Glenn Ong did the emceeing for the night and the beer drinking contests were quite funny too :)

Then it got too hot for me and I went inside the hotel to have drinks with Peter, Nic and their friends. Nice evening... it's also nice to see colleagues outside of work cos it reminds you that they're people too :) haha..

Now my hair reeks of smoke but I'll wash it tomorrow. I just washed it a few hours ago! Don't feel like sleeping yet but I think I should cos I have to be in church at 8.45am tomorrow.

I've got a song stuck in my head... was sung by the lounge band earlier... they sang The Eagles' "Lurh Will Keep Us Alive". I'm not kidding.

Today was an awful day. My boss is in hospital with dengue fever. You know how I was complaining in my last post about running the whole department alone? Well, now it's going to be extended for more than a week.

Plus, today I got screamed at. Yelled at. For not being at the photoshoot on time. I refuse to take the blame because:
1. I was in a meeting with the RDOSM (Regional Director of Sales and Marketing) discussing details of a room package which my GM questioned (he's on MC as well).
2. I was 5 minutes late. Is that a criminal offence? 5 minutes. Really... I don't get it.

So the RM (Resident Manager) shouted at me and the RDOSM shouted back at him and it turned into this ugly shouting match which I didn't care to stay for. I got my butt downstairs to the photoshoot and, in between the supervision of the shoot, went to the toilet to cry.

As I locked myself in the cubicle, these thoughts came to mind:
I can't take it anymore. I want to quit.

No, you can't quit over every little thing. You've got to hang in there. You're made of sterner stuff.

Why is it so difficult? Whywhywhywhywhy?

You can do it. You've got to persevere!! You're not a quitter.

God loves you.

And so that was my little conversation with myself. But I had a pretty black face for most of the day and walked around with a frown plastered on. One of my colleagues said hi to me but I just stormed past him (this was immediately after the scolding). I later apologised to him and told him I was really sorry and I shouldn't have done that. He was really nice and we had a little chat with another colleague (the whole office heard the shouting match and was wondering what in the world went wrong).

But by the end of the day, I had cheered up a little. The RDOSM assured me that she was on my side, which really helped. I managed to go to cell with a bit more of a smile on my face. Was horrendously worn out by then but I needed a break. Needed to chill over supper.

I dread the upcoming week. I have to attend another meeting tomorrow on behalf of my boss (I really hate Saturday meetings) and I don't know how I'm going to survive. I'm also pretty worried about getting dengue fever because on the day my boss got sick, I was bitten by a mosquito on my leg. Read the previous post.. or the one before that.

Do keep my boss and I in prayer. Tough week ahead for both of us. I'm sure she's feeling terrible now as well :(

I AM IN LOVE!!!!!

I am TOTALLY in love with the new Apple iPod shuffle. Oh. Oh. Oh. *drool* It's the most gorgeous, sleek, sophisticated yet sporty player I've ever seen (from the way I'm going on, I might just as well have been describing a potential soulmate). In any case, allow me to rave about it since this is my first techno-geek crush. I've never been a tech person but this, THIS, is just, phew! Over the top!!! Love it, want it, will probably never get it. It's like my secret love for the iBook. I love it from a distance but don't dare to commit to it. Most people I know don't own Macs (except Cheryl and I think Sab as well?) and I'm not familiar with the OS. But oh. OH. OH. How beautiful they are... Oh....

Back on earth though, I had a stressful day. The boss was on MC so I had to practically run the whole show alone (seeing as there are TWO of us in the department only). Man, running around, meetings, approvals, deadlines, ad copy, media bookings... all alone!! Tiring with a capital 'T'.

And I also did something not very nice today. I scolded one of the restaurant managers :( I didn't mean to, I was just frustrated because I had been chasing them for their promotion prices but they could never confirm it with me. So I had to send the press release out without the prices. And if I didn't send the press release out, I would have missed the deadline (cos newspapers and magazines work on very tight schedules). So today, one of the more respectable journalists (who will remain anonymous) from one of the newspapers (which shall not be named) called me and asked for the prices (which I had by now) and told me that I should have included it in the press release. He (oops) didn't sound very happy and I was a bit irritated by the whole thing because it really wasn't my fault. Not entirely anyway. I think. So I think I kinda scolded the restaurant manager in a semi-friendly way (cos I couldn't bring myself to yell at him) and told him that he really had to be more punctual with giving me information. I think all the restaurant managers knew I was stressed today. They were really sweet though, offering massages which I laughingly declined :) Bottom line - always give complete information to the publications. It's not nice when the journo has to call you and ask for info. They have better things to do than that and it should already have been in your press release anyway.

Ok, I'm really whacked. Going to dream about my new love now... mmm...

I seem to be congratulating people a lot. It's a good thing. It means good stuff is happening to the people around me and that makes me happy :)

Congratulations Lil, on officially landing your first job! I wonder if I'll ever join you in the civil service... would be nice :) 5 day weeks are always welcome :)

Had a lovely time catching up with May over dinner. I was so hungry at the start and bulldozed my way through my linguine, then had a warm chocolate cake (positively SINFUL) with chocolate chip ice cream and by the time I was done, I was feeling s-i-c-k. Ugh. Is that the result of gluttony? Now I know why it's a sin : (

Had three colossal insect bites on my leg today, each one slightly bigger than a 50 cent coin (maybe the size of communion wafers.. no, bigger). And that's just the bumpy part, excluding the red patches surrounding them. Went to the nurse and got some cream and antihistamine. Which I am supposed to take twice a day but I've left it in the office so too bad.

The week is passing extremely slowly. I'm like living life in slow motion. And the slower you go, the more tired you get. Somebody please whisk me off on a holiday...

Congratulations Cheryl on becoming an auntie! Welcome, little one, into this big big world :) You were born in tumultous times. But the future is bright because there's always hope when Daddy God's in charge!

I have been kept occupied at work (I think that's what I'm paid to do anyway). We're just starting to put together all the Valentine's Day stuff and I'm busy writing press releases. I realised that a year ago, the first press release I wrote was for Valentine's Day. And I remember my boss saying it was a good first attempt. Now I've come full circle. I don't really know how to describe the feeling I'm feeling now but it's one of satisfaction, of knowing I've come this far. That I chose to stick it out and hang on. I've come some way. Yes I have :)

So in the process of writing my press release, I searched the web for some quirky quotes on love to start off my thought process and, therefore, the writing. And I found some that were real meaningful and some that were funny. Here are my favourites:

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they have." - Truman Capote

"Love is being stupid together." - Paul Velery

"Love is not something you feel. It's something you do." - David Wilkerson

"Start living now. Stop saving the china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materialises. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath is a gift from God." - Mary Manin Morrissey

Ok, lest you think I've gone mushy, let me assure you that I'm quite level-headed and far from the mushy love road :) I think at the present, my head is resting pretty securely on my shoulders and I haven't floated off to rebound land/Cloud 9. I think the worst is over. The storm (this one, at least) has pretty much passed. And like the people in South Asia, I'm slowly picking up the pieces of my life again. I don't want to be complacent though. Will let you know how I'm doing again once I've crossed the Valentine's Day hurdle. That will be a challenge :)

I'm smiley again though.

:)

I had an epiphany last night, which I shared with Andrew. I realised that I was going about this issue the wrong way. In an inside-out, upside-down, wrong-side-up sort of way. I've been trying so hard to be strong so that the Lord can heal and work in me, when I really should be allowing the Lord to heal me and work in me first and through that, I will emerge a stronger person. And then I was blessed with a huddle of friends who all encouraged me at the same time. You guys are a God-send. Each one of you... Lil, Drew, Sab, Clarence. Thank you all. You add to the meaning of the song shared with me last night. Thanks again for the song, Drew. It's been a tremendous blessing.

You Will Never Walk Alone

Along life's road
There will be sunshine and rain
Roses and thorns, laughter and pain
And 'cross the miles
You will face mountains so steep
Deserts so long and valleys so deep
Sometimes the journey's gentle
Sometimes the cold winds blow
But I want you to remember
I want you to know

You will never walk alone
As long as you have faith
Jesus will be right beside you all the way
You may feel you're far from home
But home is where He is
And He'll be there down every road
You will never walk alone

The path will wind
And you will find wonders and fears
Labours of love and a few falling tears
Across the years
There will be some twists and turns
Mistakes to make and lessons to learn
Sometimes the journey's gentle
Sometimes the cold winds blow
But I want you to remember
Wherever you may go

Jesus knows your joy
Jesus knows your need
He will go the distance with you faithfully

- Point of Grace

Note to self: Driving and Crying are two activites that do NOT go well together.

Ha. Ha. Ha. That's me, trying to be witty and funny again. When I'm actually feeling like the stupidest loser in the whole wide world.

You know what? I'm not going to try to be funny. Because I don't feel like a comedienne at the moment. I just came back from his place where I went to return his guitar. Needless to say, the encounter wasn't as loving and caring as I would have liked (Ha. I'm trying to be funny again. I should really stop it). It was a far cry from the days of Sentosa and Bangkok. A very far cry.

And I cried. Like the little piggy that went to the market and cried all the way home. And I cried and I cried and I cried. All the way home. And I realised that my heart hasn't quite healed. Sure, I'm making some progress but I still can't bear to delete the pictures in my phone or the smses, for that matter. Now I see that my heart is really a shattered organ, precariously held together by threads of humour, distraction, work and yes, God. The grace of God.

The fact that I'm not drowning my sorrows and clubbing my life away is purely due to the grace and the mercy of God alone. I mean, I've tried it. All I ended up with was a blooming headache, nausea, cigarette smoke in my hair and about $50 less in my pocket. And it probably did some damage to my liver too. It was great while I was intoxicated and blabbering at the top of my lungs but once I came around, I felt worse than ever and it's just not worth it.

And now I find myself thinking about it again. About the good times. The great memories. And I feel completely helpless. Totally and utterly helpless. Yet there is this desire to be strong and weather the storm. But it's such a big storm : (

I wish someone would dry my tears : (

Congratulations Lil, for landing that job with MOE! So proud of you :) Don't think that's it's not a big deal just because of the job description. We're all working for the Lord anyway so we all have the same Boss and I know for a fact that He doesn't think your job's any less worthy. Here's to a fantastic year of growing, serving and earning our keep!

I'm suddenly very grateful that I have a job. I know I haven't always enjoyed it and more often than not, I've complained about it. But I really am grateful that I've been blessed with a job that I wanted to take up in the first place. God allowed me to realise my dream from a very early point and that's just awesome. I never thought that I would end up fulfilling my pre-u dream of doing PR in a hotel. But it came to pass. And although I'm not earning much and don't have a lot of leave, I'm grateful. It could have been worse.

Count your blessings today, people. It's a privilege.

New template. Was sick of the old one. Will put up more links as I go along. Too rainy a day to spend in front of the computer. I'm gonna go sleep.

I don't think I've been getting enough sleep the past few days. I'm so tired at work and after hours. I feel really bad when I go out with people after work because I can be such bad company. I'm usually so pooped I don't say much. Add that to the fact that I'm a horrible introvert, it's a bit of a let-down. Strange thing though - I was once (during last year's retreat) in a car with Jayne and Jon and we were talking about personalities. Both of them were in disbelief when I said I was an introvert. That sent off warning bells in my head. Does that mean I have a façade? From the bottom of my heart, I really am an introvert, no matter what I seem to be to you. It's just strange that people see me as this fast-talking, loud extrovert when, at my natural self, I'm really not. Eeep. Did I just say "my natural self"? I do have a façade!

So how did this alter-ego come about? I don't think it's a bad thing altogether. It's not that I'm trying to be someone else, it's just another part of me that shows through in certain situations. When I'm in a group, I can be funny and say stupid things and laugh hysterically. But I tend to be quieter and clam up when I'm alone with someone. Unless I'm TOTALLY comfortable with the person. Then I can make a complete fool of myself and I wouldn't care. I even noticed that when I'm with Jayne and Jon, I go crazy. But when I'm alone with either, I become this meek demure person. Which leads me to the revelation that I'm maybe not such a one-to-one person? Is that why I can't seem to stay in a relationship???

Oh well, that's another story for another day. I'll leave you with a picture of me with Jayne, Jon and Gene at the Media table during last year's camp. Jayne and Jon are the ones making peace signs. So cute :)

Went out for dinner, coffee and a movie tonight. My first "date" in ages. Well I don't think you could really call it a date, hence the "". But it was nice enough I guess, although I realised that I don't miss dating. Not that I had a bad experience tonight. On the contrary, it was rather pleasant. But I just don't seem to enjoy dates as much now. Maybe it's the pressure of having to conjure up some form of conversation. I'm really at a point now where what I'd enjoy most is a comfortable silence. Where you know me and I know you and we're just both enjoying the presence of the other person. Simply the presence. Where I'm so at ease with you that we could sit for hours and just be. You don't have to try to make me laugh, you don't have to impress me with your firm grasp of the English language, you don't have to look like a million bucks.

And when I find that, I'll have found you.

Hide them now
Under Your wings
Cover them
Within Your mighty hands

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
They will soar with You above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
They will be still and know You are God

Ok, here's a token pic from New Year's Eve.



That's me and me boss. Yes, I was working on New Year's Eve. It wasn't that bad, except I was so bored! Kept checking the time to see when I could go. I don't think I've ever been that anxious to see the new year come in!

So today was the first day of work in 2005. Didn't do much today. My body clock's a little wonky now because of all the late nights I've been keeping. Doesn't help that I slept the whole of Saturday and Sunday. Couldn't get myself out of bed this morning. That explains the sleepy "I'm-so-not-awake" look here:


And that's my boss' dog "Brownie". I abuse it on a daily basis but today, I decided to be nice and pose for a picture with it. Brownie's so ecstatic he's not even looking at the camera. Secretly, I think Brownie's a gem and I love him to bits but don't tell the boss that. She thinks I'm this horrible pet abuser so she tries to keep Brownie in safe hands. I think it's hilarious.

On to other animal stories. Today, I saw an old lady scoop up a dead bird and put it in the bin. I thought that was really touching. Ok, I know it sounds weird but I really was rather moved by the whole scene. She actually bent down, scooped the mangled thing into a piece of paper and nicely disposed of it. She took the time. I didn't. I just walked right past the bird. And I was even grossed out by it. But the old lady wasn't. She was so calm and serene when she picked it up. Albeit not with her bare hands, but still, she bothered. I was speechless. And a little ashamed of myself too : (

Thanks to those of you looking me up on MSN. Makes my job a lot easier :) Will see you online then!

After 2 MORE people told me to get on MSN today (along with Lil's constant labelling of ICQ as "archaic"), I decided to get with the program and get logged on. So yes, I officially announce that I am now on MSN. As I have yet to think up a groovy online name, I am simply my email address as of now. That's right - jhuiping@yahoo.com.au

Go ahead, make my day.

You know what I love? Stretching and feeling my bones crack, from my shoulders to my back (didn't mean for it to rhyme but it did so...). My body feels so nice and loose and relaxed after that. Mmm... a little bit of heaven in my old, achy bones.. :)

And you know what else I love? Snuggling under the covers on a cold rainy day like today (I'll bet many of you love doing that too, you lazy, lazy people!). Ok, I shall go play my guitar now and then curl up into a little ball and snooze till dinnertime. Then I'll eat, have some ice cream, take a shower, play my guitar again, pray, do my QT, then zzzzzz.. till tomorrow when I'll get up, go to work (with a positive attitude 'cos it's 2005!!!) and then... waitaminute, you don't really want to hear a minute-by-minute of my life do you? Well, those of you that do (either you're really really bored or you really need to get out more), you're free to email me at work (shh! I didn't say that!) and I'll respond within the hour.

It's a lazy Sunday. Perfect for reflection, contemplation, introspection and other such activities. However, I'm standing firm by my decision to sleep. G'nite all!

A year ago:


I can't remember who I was on the phone with. But I do remember that photo credit goes to Peter Chua. I remember that after Watchnight Service last year, we went to Bukit Timah for supper. I remember I had roti prata. Even though I was really hungry, I only had one piece because I didn't have enough money for two. Isn't it strange that I remember all these things but not who I was on the phone with?

People have asked about my new year resolutions. Could never give an answer. Simply because I haven't made any. Is it important to make new year resolutions? I think the time spent mulling over what resolutions to make, could be better spent actually doing stuff that needs to be done.

I have a prata craving now. Prata with sugar. Yum.

A Minute's Silence

Wars are forgotten. Enmity is pushed aside. Race, religion, class are no longer obstacles. A shared tragedy has united the world. At what price? More than 150,000 lives. And counting. This morning, most of us stepped into a new year. Hundreds of thousands of people in Asia didn't. Suddenly, no one seems to bat an eyelid about the situation in Iraq. Osama bin Laden has become irrelevant. Saddam Hussein is forgotten. The world mourns for its children.

Prior to this, tsunamis were merely a topic in Geography class. It was one of my favourite topics because it was an easy one. I had a major interest in plate tectonics. In fact, I was the only one in my JC class that studied for the plate tectonics section for the 'A' levels. Earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, I devoured information on them with great enthusiasm. Perhaps because I was awed by what Nature was capable of on such a large scale. I don't know if I will still enjoy learning about them now. Now that the destruction has hit so close to home. I feel so helpless. I've prayed, I've donated money but I still feel like I should be doing more.

For my brothers and sisters who never saw 2005, you are not forgotten. The world remembers. And will continue to do so for a long time to come. Probably forever. God be with you.